I’m a salesman. It’s what I do. When I’m not writing blogs or coming up with new ideas for my clients, I am on the telephone, trying my best to introduce Merchandise Mania to as many new clients as I can.
Now don’t get me wrong, if I had so many briefs to fill that I didn’t get a moment to myself, then new business development would be the first thing I would drop. As much as I love cold calling – and strangely enough, I really do, our first priority here is to give a top flight service to our customers, and that is never going to change.
Sadly for me, I don’t have an endless stream of briefs on which to work. In the current economic climate I’m getting more and more excited about selling pens. ME! And you know how I feel about pens. If you don’t please refer to some of the earlier blogs here or buy a copy of my latest book “Pens – What’s The Big Fricking Deal?” available from all imaginary bookshops.
And so it is that I return the world of cold calling. Now as I have said, I actually enjoy it. There’s a certain joy to striking up a rapport with a complete stranger over the telephone, using nothing but your wits to guide them round to your way of thinking. Naturally, it’s fun when it works out that way, and the potential for the next call to be just the one you want slightly takes the edge off of the 20 previous people who told you that they were not interested.
But then you get the polite ones. Oh no, I’m not talking about the ones who say “thank you” right after they’ve told you to go away. No. There’s a breed of people much, MUCH worse than that. A group so malevolent that there are still some nights that I wake up screaming. Vietnam was nothing compared to having to deal with this lot – they are pure, crystallised evil, and they may well be working right next to you. (Hey, wouldn’t it have been cool if some spooky music had come on just as you’d started reading that bit? I mean, it would be extra spooky because how would it know when to start? I don’t know how fast a reader you are do I? Still, it would have been cool.)
How can you spot them? It’s easy. Their response to a cold call goes something like this – “Well we don’t buy any merchandise but if you’d like to send me a catalogue we’ll keep it on file.” AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! That’s worse than dropping the G in “morning” (see the blog from 3 weeks ago).
These people mean well – they do, but they are MORONS! It costs me money to print my catalogue. It costs me money to store my catalogue and it costs me money to send my catalogue out. You have just told me that you DON’T buy merchandise which begs the almost obvious question that everyone reading this must now be shouting at their screen…..”WHAT THE ?%*&!**? DO YOU NEED WITH A CATALOGUE?????”
And what about keeping it on file? Do these people do that at home? Have they stored every piece of junk mail that they have ever been sent? Is their loft piled high with DIY catalogues and Donkey Sanctuary newsletters? Of course not. If you don’t need it, then just don’t ask for it.
The problem is that they’re just being polite. Asking for literature is the easiest and nicest way to get a sales person off of the phone without causing upset. At least that’s what they think. Now the inexperienced salesman will rub his hands together and proclaim that he’s just made a good sales call – they’ve asked for literature – he may as well put the deposit down on his new speedboat now.
The smarter, more experienced, or frankly just plain cynical sales person will know better. He has been brushed off – it happens. Do we dwell on it? No – we take a moment to analyse if there is anything which we might have done better and then we move on to the next call.
Good manners may be one thing, but there is no substitute for straightforward honesty. It may seem harsh, but it’s ultimately refreshing. I’m only asking if you’d like to consider working with me. If the answer is “no”, I won’t take it personally, especially if it’s because you don’t buy merchandise anyway.
So just give me a hearty “thanks but no thanks”. You don’t need my catalogue – you’re never going to read it and the “file” you speak of is currently sat under your desk, currently housing 2 empty plastic cups and a banana skin. And I have just one question for you – if you don’t buy merchandise, how do you market yourselves and how has it been working for you so far?”
There are plenty of people out there who genuinely have no need for promotional merchandise. Don’t feel bad for them – it’s Christmas – give them some soup.
This is the last blog of 2008. I’d like to thank you for reading, and for those of you who have left comments too. Please tell your friends and associates about this blog – I love writing it and plan to keep on doing so. One final reminder to please sponsor me in the London Marathon – the link is on the right hand side of the page.
Happy Holidays.
Wednesday 17 December 2008
Thursday 11 December 2008
A sneak preview into your next marketing meeting...
Here is the agenda for your next marketing meeting:
Item 1 – We haven’t got any money for marketing
Item 2 – Please refer to item 1
See? And you were planning on taking up valuable minutes of your day to have a meeting. Look at the time you’ve saved!
In the last week alone, I have spoken with countless companies who seem to have had this very meeting. They get a lot of really good ideas together, phone around for quotes, organise samples, negotiate better prices and then WHAM! They get told by their bosses that there is no money to be spent on marketing.
Is that going to happen in your next meeting? Are you asking for quotes right now, safe in the knowledge that you are actually allowed to buy anything at all? I don’t want to sound bitter, but I am, so that’s how it’s going to come across.
Here’s a scenario for you. What if I told you that if you spent £5000 with me today, that I could turn it in to £25,000 within 2 months and what’s more, if I didn’t, I would give you all of your money back? Now remember, you’ve just been told that you have NO money to spend on marketing. Do you think that £5000 might just magically appear from somewhere? You bet it would.
Now wind things back a little bit. I don’t have a magical means of turning that £5000 into £25000. Or do I? You see before all this credit crunch, monster munch, lordy help me please nonsense hit, people all over the world believed in marketing. They spent money to increase their company’s exposure. They couldn’t necessarily show you a spreadsheet pointing to how their marketing spend had been converted into revenue, but they knew that it had.
So why did they stop believing? Fear – that’s why. People lose faith in all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, and then as soon as everything is alright again, that faith is restored. Funny thing though – that thing you stopped believing in didn’t go away just because you stopped believing.
It’s a bit like the fairies in Peter Pan. For those of you not familiar (oh don’t act like you don’t know) if you stop believing in fairies, they die. It’s slightly different in business – if you stop believing in marketing, YOU die.
Marketing yourselves properly now is more vital than ever. I read some good advice this week that I would like to share with you. Don't think of words like "advertising" or "marketing" - those have negative feelings attached to them. Think instead of words like "increased exposure", "greater market share", or "more profits". Now that I have given you that warm fuzzy feeling, go and find me that £5000 we were talking about!
Food for thought, but then so is salmon.
Item 1 – We haven’t got any money for marketing
Item 2 – Please refer to item 1
See? And you were planning on taking up valuable minutes of your day to have a meeting. Look at the time you’ve saved!
In the last week alone, I have spoken with countless companies who seem to have had this very meeting. They get a lot of really good ideas together, phone around for quotes, organise samples, negotiate better prices and then WHAM! They get told by their bosses that there is no money to be spent on marketing.
Is that going to happen in your next meeting? Are you asking for quotes right now, safe in the knowledge that you are actually allowed to buy anything at all? I don’t want to sound bitter, but I am, so that’s how it’s going to come across.
Here’s a scenario for you. What if I told you that if you spent £5000 with me today, that I could turn it in to £25,000 within 2 months and what’s more, if I didn’t, I would give you all of your money back? Now remember, you’ve just been told that you have NO money to spend on marketing. Do you think that £5000 might just magically appear from somewhere? You bet it would.
Now wind things back a little bit. I don’t have a magical means of turning that £5000 into £25000. Or do I? You see before all this credit crunch, monster munch, lordy help me please nonsense hit, people all over the world believed in marketing. They spent money to increase their company’s exposure. They couldn’t necessarily show you a spreadsheet pointing to how their marketing spend had been converted into revenue, but they knew that it had.
So why did they stop believing? Fear – that’s why. People lose faith in all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, and then as soon as everything is alright again, that faith is restored. Funny thing though – that thing you stopped believing in didn’t go away just because you stopped believing.
It’s a bit like the fairies in Peter Pan. For those of you not familiar (oh don’t act like you don’t know) if you stop believing in fairies, they die. It’s slightly different in business – if you stop believing in marketing, YOU die.
Marketing yourselves properly now is more vital than ever. I read some good advice this week that I would like to share with you. Don't think of words like "advertising" or "marketing" - those have negative feelings attached to them. Think instead of words like "increased exposure", "greater market share", or "more profits". Now that I have given you that warm fuzzy feeling, go and find me that £5000 we were talking about!
Food for thought, but then so is salmon.
Thursday 4 December 2008
Coffee - the prelude to everything
Coffee - it means so much to so many people. For me, it's the start to my working day. Sure, mine only comes out of a vending machine in a plastic cup and has all the sole of a Westlife album, but without it my day simply could not begin.
To the French, a natural accompaniment to their morning croissant. To the Dutch, it's the other drug that you get in Coffee Shops. Where would ante natal groups congregate if it weren't for their local Starbucks? Seriously, have you seen how many buggies they can cram into a single store? My wife and son attend there on a weekly basis - they go there more than church, which is really not all that difficult given that we're Jewish.
What third date has ever ended with "Do you fancy coming in for a snog?" and how many meetings with clients have been set up with an invitation to buy that client a cup of coffee over which they might chat?
Coffee is so much more than a beverage. It's a euphemism, it's an excuse, it's a motivator, a crowd pleaser, a way of life. Even those sad people who tone it down to decaf still "use" coffee.
Ultimately, coffee is a tool, and what makes it unique is that almost no one uses this tool incorrectly. Think of every other tool at your disposal - have they always worked exactly the way you wanted them to 100% of the time? Of course not. Coffee isn't like that - whatever you need it to do, it will do it. It's the Harry Potter of business tools and yet it's so easily taken for granted.
Is the same true of your marketing effort? Do the people in your business just expect gifts and advertising and literature to magic themselves out of thin air and present themselves to your clients without a second thought?
Ask the majority of marketeers and they'll tell you that the answer is yes. They feel woefully under-appreciated and yet without their sterling effort, business may well ground to a halt.
However, armed with this vital piece of knowledge, companies still consider marketing budget to be the first thing they cut when times are tight. THIS IS WRONG! When times are tight, my customers are going to spend less - I get that, but they are going to spend, and they're going to make a real point of shopping around for the best deals. Now if your competitors are climbing the nearest bell tower and shouting about their deals more than you, where exactly do you think that customer is going to go?
And what about when times aren't tight any more? When the small time thinkers have closed their doors there'll be a massive pool of potential clients out there looking for someone to help them, and chances are they'll go to the people who market themselves properly.
You've cut the budgets. OK, we get that, but don't let that mean that you end up buying nothing. Just make sure that you align yourselves with a company that will help you buy wisely - and there's no prizes for guessing who that might be!
This week, my colleague Sophia wanted a mention. That was it.
Thursday 27 November 2008
We've Got Experience
You know what really winds me up? You should - I find at least one new thing to moan about on a weekly basis. No, I'm not talking about the X Factor, the price of petrol or the fact that my local Tesco now employs people to stand at the front of the store with microphones shouting special offers at me as I walk in.
No, what winds me up is lines like this - "We've got over 100 years' experience in this industry", when what they actually mean is that there are 25 people working there and they've even factored in the work experience girl who's been there for 2 weeks. She's only making tea, but bloody hell it's a good cuppa. What's worse, people who tell you that they were "Established in 1965" - so what? Lot's of things happened in 1965, why should the fact that you decided to start a business affect my decision to work with you.
Of course we all know why they do it. It's to work on the basic principle that if they have not gone out of business that they must be good. Sure, there may be some truth to that, but why is it that we find ourselves thinking that the default position of any business is to eventually close down?
And why is collective experience used as a statistic? I could easily tell you that Merchandise Mania has over sixty years of experience but it's crap. We've got a big team and we've got experience ranging from 1 year to 15.
Surely the only real measure of a company is how good they are RIGHT NOW. In the current market, a firm's ability really is on show. If they can give their customers what they need in this climate, then they're ready for anything, and there are people who have been in business for less than a year who will fall into that category.
The moral of the story? If you're putting some marketing literature together - Don't open with how long you've been in business, it's not interesting. Tell me what you can do for me right here and right now. Your capabilities should speak for themselves and if they don't, perhaps you should consider consulting with a marketing agency who will help crystallise your message for you.
Give us a call, we've been around since 2000 and I personally have 38 years' experience (of being alive).
No, what winds me up is lines like this - "We've got over 100 years' experience in this industry", when what they actually mean is that there are 25 people working there and they've even factored in the work experience girl who's been there for 2 weeks. She's only making tea, but bloody hell it's a good cuppa. What's worse, people who tell you that they were "Established in 1965" - so what? Lot's of things happened in 1965, why should the fact that you decided to start a business affect my decision to work with you.
Of course we all know why they do it. It's to work on the basic principle that if they have not gone out of business that they must be good. Sure, there may be some truth to that, but why is it that we find ourselves thinking that the default position of any business is to eventually close down?
And why is collective experience used as a statistic? I could easily tell you that Merchandise Mania has over sixty years of experience but it's crap. We've got a big team and we've got experience ranging from 1 year to 15.
Surely the only real measure of a company is how good they are RIGHT NOW. In the current market, a firm's ability really is on show. If they can give their customers what they need in this climate, then they're ready for anything, and there are people who have been in business for less than a year who will fall into that category.
The moral of the story? If you're putting some marketing literature together - Don't open with how long you've been in business, it's not interesting. Tell me what you can do for me right here and right now. Your capabilities should speak for themselves and if they don't, perhaps you should consider consulting with a marketing agency who will help crystallise your message for you.
Give us a call, we've been around since 2000 and I personally have 38 years' experience (of being alive).
Thursday 20 November 2008
This year, Christmas falls on the 25th of December
Wow! A sarcastic title. That's not like me at all is it? It seems however, that for many people, this piece of valuable information comes as a bit of a surprise.
It's not uncommon in the retail world, plenty of people choose to do their Christmas shopping around 5pm on the 23rd of December and yet still find themselves moaning at the endless queues, overworked staff and the fact that there's only one decent Scalectrix left on the shelves to be fought over by twenty dads, and we all know they only really want it for themselves anyway don't we?
Is it all just down to poor memory? Do they suddenly wake up on the day before Christmas Eve and remember that, not only do they have kids, but that Santa Claus has never actually been proven to exist (sorry kids, but if you're old enough to read this blog, you're old enough to know the truth - Santa is nothing more than a corporate puppet - a marketing tool - a media whore, if you will)?
No, let's be a little more charitable to these people. It's just bad planning, The problem is that lastminute.com used to just be a website, but it evolved into a state of mind. Maybe it was the other way around though - if we all did plan ahead properly, there wouldn't be any last minute deals would there?
Now what did you do last Christmas? Did you send cards? Did you donate the money to charity? Did you give your staff and customers gifts or did you simply cry "Bah humbug" and chuck half a lump of extra coal in the fire on Christmas Eve? In which case, why are you still heating your offices with coal fires? This is the 21st century you know.
Whatever you did, are you PLANNING on doing it again? A lot of companies like to measure the effectiveness of their Christmas plans, but surely that only needs to take you up to April - six months will offer you more than a decent indication of whether or not something is working.
Therefore, our busiest period for Christmas merchandise should be around April and May, but sadly it is still November - a time when people want all of us magical little elves to turn 4 week lead times into 4 days and have manufacturers lower their prices despite the fact that demand has doubled. Frankly if you believe any of that is possible, then I imagine a belief in Father Christmas is really not that much of a stretch for you.
Oh! So that's the problem - everyone's clinging to their inner delusional five year old! That's alright then, just put your feet up and let's see if 500 diaries magically find their way under your tree.
So please grab your 2009 diary (what do you mean you haven't got one yet?) and make a note in April to organise your Christmas merchandise, otherwise you'll have to remember the words of that famous poem:
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Because they were all down at Tesco....
crapping themselves with worry.
It's not uncommon in the retail world, plenty of people choose to do their Christmas shopping around 5pm on the 23rd of December and yet still find themselves moaning at the endless queues, overworked staff and the fact that there's only one decent Scalectrix left on the shelves to be fought over by twenty dads, and we all know they only really want it for themselves anyway don't we?
Is it all just down to poor memory? Do they suddenly wake up on the day before Christmas Eve and remember that, not only do they have kids, but that Santa Claus has never actually been proven to exist (sorry kids, but if you're old enough to read this blog, you're old enough to know the truth - Santa is nothing more than a corporate puppet - a marketing tool - a media whore, if you will)?
No, let's be a little more charitable to these people. It's just bad planning, The problem is that lastminute.com used to just be a website, but it evolved into a state of mind. Maybe it was the other way around though - if we all did plan ahead properly, there wouldn't be any last minute deals would there?
Now what did you do last Christmas? Did you send cards? Did you donate the money to charity? Did you give your staff and customers gifts or did you simply cry "Bah humbug" and chuck half a lump of extra coal in the fire on Christmas Eve? In which case, why are you still heating your offices with coal fires? This is the 21st century you know.
Whatever you did, are you PLANNING on doing it again? A lot of companies like to measure the effectiveness of their Christmas plans, but surely that only needs to take you up to April - six months will offer you more than a decent indication of whether or not something is working.
Therefore, our busiest period for Christmas merchandise should be around April and May, but sadly it is still November - a time when people want all of us magical little elves to turn 4 week lead times into 4 days and have manufacturers lower their prices despite the fact that demand has doubled. Frankly if you believe any of that is possible, then I imagine a belief in Father Christmas is really not that much of a stretch for you.
Oh! So that's the problem - everyone's clinging to their inner delusional five year old! That's alright then, just put your feet up and let's see if 500 diaries magically find their way under your tree.
So please grab your 2009 diary (what do you mean you haven't got one yet?) and make a note in April to organise your Christmas merchandise, otherwise you'll have to remember the words of that famous poem:
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Because they were all down at Tesco....
crapping themselves with worry.
Friday 14 November 2008
The G in morning is not silent
OK, OK, I'm a day late and I'm sorry. I've been laid up in bed with some virus and to make matters worse my 7 month old, Felix, has it as well. And if you think I can moan when I'm ill, imagine what my offspring is capable of! Sleep deprived and with a throat that feels like I've just eaten a ball of wool wrapped in sandpaper, I'm still here to unleash my anger on the world.
And so the title of this week's rant. The G in morning is not silent. Nor is it silent in the word calling or meeting. For some reason however, there seems to be an entire generation of people who think that it is. You know who I'm talking about. You call up a company with a solid reputation and some hooped earring Chavette who is more interested in the X Factor than her job shrieks down the phone at you with a voice so shrill that all the dogs in the neighbourhood start howling.
"Good mornin'" they cry. You respond in a professional tone "Good morninG, may I please speak with so and so? "E's in a meetin' right now, who's callin'"
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Die Die Die you horrible little person! You're killing the English language. You're the icon of everything I hate about the world.
Have you been there? I bet you have. Now I don't mind so much when I'm phoning to order a pizza from Domino's but these are people answering the phones in City firms - the sorts of places where a certain standard is expected and yet is clearly being overlooked.
Don't get me wrong. Language evolves - I get that. I mean why do you think it's so hard to understand Shakespeare? But the use of proper English need not be thought of as an art form. Language can be truly beautiful, and the spoken word shouldn't grate. Do I sound a bit like Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady? Well then By George, I think you've got it!
The people to whom I am referring often create the first impression that any potential customers have of their company. They are just as representative of the image of the firm as their logo or annual reports, and yet this seems to be an area where their employers will so quickly gloss over the cracks.
Is the same true of their marketing department? It can be. How often do we get people calling us to ask us for pens and mugs? Too often. I've said it before and I'll say it again - don't buy merchandise just for the sake of it. This is your company's image we're talking about. Is it really a good idea for a bank to give out a stress toy? What's the message - if you bank with us you'll have even more stress so you might need to squeeze this? WRONG WRONG WRONG!
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. When a company rebrands or even goes to market themselves for the first time, they really need to keep this in mind. If you fail to impress your potential customers from the moment they hear about you, you may never win their business.
So this week, please think about your image. If you were approaching your company for the first time, what would you be thinking of them? Is it the image you want?
If you're not happy with the answers, please let us help you. If you are, then let us help you feel even better about your image.
Once again just a chance to remind you that I am running in the Marathon next year and need sponsors. Please go to www.justgiving.com/pjrose and help me out.
And so the title of this week's rant. The G in morning is not silent. Nor is it silent in the word calling or meeting. For some reason however, there seems to be an entire generation of people who think that it is. You know who I'm talking about. You call up a company with a solid reputation and some hooped earring Chavette who is more interested in the X Factor than her job shrieks down the phone at you with a voice so shrill that all the dogs in the neighbourhood start howling.
"Good mornin'" they cry. You respond in a professional tone "Good morninG, may I please speak with so and so? "E's in a meetin' right now, who's callin'"
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Die Die Die you horrible little person! You're killing the English language. You're the icon of everything I hate about the world.
Have you been there? I bet you have. Now I don't mind so much when I'm phoning to order a pizza from Domino's but these are people answering the phones in City firms - the sorts of places where a certain standard is expected and yet is clearly being overlooked.
Don't get me wrong. Language evolves - I get that. I mean why do you think it's so hard to understand Shakespeare? But the use of proper English need not be thought of as an art form. Language can be truly beautiful, and the spoken word shouldn't grate. Do I sound a bit like Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady? Well then By George, I think you've got it!
The people to whom I am referring often create the first impression that any potential customers have of their company. They are just as representative of the image of the firm as their logo or annual reports, and yet this seems to be an area where their employers will so quickly gloss over the cracks.
Is the same true of their marketing department? It can be. How often do we get people calling us to ask us for pens and mugs? Too often. I've said it before and I'll say it again - don't buy merchandise just for the sake of it. This is your company's image we're talking about. Is it really a good idea for a bank to give out a stress toy? What's the message - if you bank with us you'll have even more stress so you might need to squeeze this? WRONG WRONG WRONG!
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. When a company rebrands or even goes to market themselves for the first time, they really need to keep this in mind. If you fail to impress your potential customers from the moment they hear about you, you may never win their business.
So this week, please think about your image. If you were approaching your company for the first time, what would you be thinking of them? Is it the image you want?
If you're not happy with the answers, please let us help you. If you are, then let us help you feel even better about your image.
Once again just a chance to remind you that I am running in the Marathon next year and need sponsors. Please go to www.justgiving.com/pjrose and help me out.
Thursday 6 November 2008
How much is your time worth?
When was the last time you actually worked out your true value to your company? I'm not talking about the fact that you make the best cup of tea or always bring in cakes on your birthday (it was mine on Tuesday, and I brought in loads of cake) - I'm talking about your value in pounds and pence.
A lot of people have no idea what they're worth so let me see if I can help. It's easiest for sales people to work this out so we'll use them as an example. Write down your annual target. Now divide that by 12. Now divide that figure by 4 and then divide that new figure by 40. What you have there is your hourly rate. If you started your own business tomorrow and charged by the hour - that's what you would charge.
How did that figure make you feel? Mine actually makes me feel pretty good. In my best year I was worth over £350 per hour. Now don't get me wrong - I personally didn't earn that much. If I did, I'm pretty sure this blog would not exist, well it probably would, but it would just be pictures of me flying my helicopter (at least now you know what I want for Christmas).
OK, so let's take a more modest figure of £250 per hour - that's what your time is worth to both you and your company. With that in mind, let's go shopping for some merchandise shall we? (Oh come on, it'll be fun, and if you behave I'll get you an ice cream).
So you're after some pens and you've got in your first quote and it seems pretty good. The total price is £1500. You're happy, but you think it's probably a good idea to go and get a few more quotes. So you start trawling through all of the catalogues that you kept on a shelf (people actually do that? I just thought you were all being polite. We just figured you put them straight in the bin, so thanks to those of you who don't) and you call up two more companies to ask them for a quote.
There's good news - the second quote comes in at the same price as the first one but then the third quote comes in and their total price is £1400. SCORE! Do you then order from the third company? Of course not! That would be sheer lunacy! No - you phone back the first and second company and tell them that you've had a better quote. They then go away and come back and beat the figure and after all of this back and forth, you've got the total price down to £1350 and you then place your order.
Well done! The whole process took two hours and therefore effectively cost you £500, and all so that you could save.....wait for it.....wait longer.....yup, you got it - £150. Fantastic!
The moral of the story? There's nothing wrong with shopping around, but do you know I've actually been having conversations with people who need me to take my prices down by pennies? They're looking at spending over £10,000 on marketing but they're negotiating over that last £40. Are times really so tight that we need to waste hundreds of hours and thousands of pounds to try and "save" money?
So by all means shop, but if you find yourself in a good relationship with your supplier then stick with it. Unless they're not me, in which case we really do need to talk. You didn't go with them because they were cheapest - they had something more and you believed it was worth paying for, and unless they really have let go of their enthusiasm, that quality is still there.
Now for those of you who do find yourself with a spare £10 - I have just been awarded a place in the 2009 Flora London Marathon. I'm running on behalf of Tommy's -The Baby Charity, and I need to raise £2500 for them. Please go to www.justgiving.com/pjrose and sponsor me as much as you can.
Have a good week in business, and let's see if we can all get our hourly rates up to truly offensive levels.
A lot of people have no idea what they're worth so let me see if I can help. It's easiest for sales people to work this out so we'll use them as an example. Write down your annual target. Now divide that by 12. Now divide that figure by 4 and then divide that new figure by 40. What you have there is your hourly rate. If you started your own business tomorrow and charged by the hour - that's what you would charge.
How did that figure make you feel? Mine actually makes me feel pretty good. In my best year I was worth over £350 per hour. Now don't get me wrong - I personally didn't earn that much. If I did, I'm pretty sure this blog would not exist, well it probably would, but it would just be pictures of me flying my helicopter (at least now you know what I want for Christmas).
OK, so let's take a more modest figure of £250 per hour - that's what your time is worth to both you and your company. With that in mind, let's go shopping for some merchandise shall we? (Oh come on, it'll be fun, and if you behave I'll get you an ice cream).
So you're after some pens and you've got in your first quote and it seems pretty good. The total price is £1500. You're happy, but you think it's probably a good idea to go and get a few more quotes. So you start trawling through all of the catalogues that you kept on a shelf (people actually do that? I just thought you were all being polite. We just figured you put them straight in the bin, so thanks to those of you who don't) and you call up two more companies to ask them for a quote.
There's good news - the second quote comes in at the same price as the first one but then the third quote comes in and their total price is £1400. SCORE! Do you then order from the third company? Of course not! That would be sheer lunacy! No - you phone back the first and second company and tell them that you've had a better quote. They then go away and come back and beat the figure and after all of this back and forth, you've got the total price down to £1350 and you then place your order.
Well done! The whole process took two hours and therefore effectively cost you £500, and all so that you could save.....wait for it.....wait longer.....yup, you got it - £150. Fantastic!
The moral of the story? There's nothing wrong with shopping around, but do you know I've actually been having conversations with people who need me to take my prices down by pennies? They're looking at spending over £10,000 on marketing but they're negotiating over that last £40. Are times really so tight that we need to waste hundreds of hours and thousands of pounds to try and "save" money?
So by all means shop, but if you find yourself in a good relationship with your supplier then stick with it. Unless they're not me, in which case we really do need to talk. You didn't go with them because they were cheapest - they had something more and you believed it was worth paying for, and unless they really have let go of their enthusiasm, that quality is still there.
Now for those of you who do find yourself with a spare £10 - I have just been awarded a place in the 2009 Flora London Marathon. I'm running on behalf of Tommy's -The Baby Charity, and I need to raise £2500 for them. Please go to www.justgiving.com/pjrose and sponsor me as much as you can.
Have a good week in business, and let's see if we can all get our hourly rates up to truly offensive levels.
Thursday 30 October 2008
Enough Credit Crunch Already!!!!
BEAT THE CREDIT CRUNCH - ORDER YOUR SUMMER BBQ NOW!
AVOID THE CREDIT CRUNCH - FLY TO SPAIN!
EASE YOUR CREDIT CRUNCH WOES - EAT SOME MARMITE!
It's getting ridiculous. Come on people, we know times are tough, but focussing on people's insecurities to make them buy stuff just feels sneaky and underhanded.
And why is it that my supermarket is littered with hundreds of "buy one, get one free" offers but almost nothing for half price. I don't need a second bottle of Head and Shoulders. For my slap headed noggin, one bottle will last well into the next time something cheery happens in Eastenders, and that's a bloody long time.
Then there's your budget supermarkets. Can you believe that there are still some people who believe that there is a greater stigma attached to shopping at Lidl than there is to being skint? I don't shop at Lidl, but it's only because they only ever seem to have one cashier serving 57 people, which means that most of my food will have hit its sell by date long before I get home.
So how does all of this relate to promotional merchandise? (Meena, you can stop reading now - yes it's true, my colleague will only read up to the point where I start talking about work and then she switches off. Be fair though, she is very small).
The problem is that more and more of our customers are becoming price sensitive. Creativity, loyalty and good service seem to have all taken a back seat to low low prices. It's understandable, but surely the smart companies out there need and want a little more from their providers.
I don't want to become the Lidl of the merchandising world. When it comes to service, you really do get what you pay for. Sure, there is no merchandise I can get you that other companies can't, but some of them will give you a catalogue and ask you to pick what you like. That hardly seems fair - they want you to do half the work but are they going to give you half their salary?
When this credit crunch ends and we all look back and laugh, the companies that invested wisely in their people will be the ones that are still around. They won't be scratching their heads wondering where the hell all the money went.
So here is a little test for you. Say this sentence to yourself. "People will always need....." and insert what it is you do at the end. Is it true? For the initiated amongst you, the answer should be a resounding yes. So now say this one - "People will always need MY........" same reaction? If not, you're not thinking about yourself in a positive light, and I'd be prepared to bet a week's worth of Lidl groceries (£2.65) that you're not marketing yourself properly either.
So put that catalogue down and stop looking for the cheapest item you can get with the lowest minimum order quantity. I'll save you some time. The lowest minimum order quantity is none - if you don't want them, don't buy them. Guess what the cheapest price is...that's right - zero, and for all the same reasons. If you want some really great idea to help you market yourselves in times of trouble then just pick up the phone or drop me a line. I'm here to give you a Harrods quality service at an Aldi price.
You see, you don't need to just survive the credit crunch, you need to make your business grow and thrive. But then, wasn't that always the case anyway?
AVOID THE CREDIT CRUNCH - FLY TO SPAIN!
EASE YOUR CREDIT CRUNCH WOES - EAT SOME MARMITE!
It's getting ridiculous. Come on people, we know times are tough, but focussing on people's insecurities to make them buy stuff just feels sneaky and underhanded.
And why is it that my supermarket is littered with hundreds of "buy one, get one free" offers but almost nothing for half price. I don't need a second bottle of Head and Shoulders. For my slap headed noggin, one bottle will last well into the next time something cheery happens in Eastenders, and that's a bloody long time.
Then there's your budget supermarkets. Can you believe that there are still some people who believe that there is a greater stigma attached to shopping at Lidl than there is to being skint? I don't shop at Lidl, but it's only because they only ever seem to have one cashier serving 57 people, which means that most of my food will have hit its sell by date long before I get home.
So how does all of this relate to promotional merchandise? (Meena, you can stop reading now - yes it's true, my colleague will only read up to the point where I start talking about work and then she switches off. Be fair though, she is very small).
The problem is that more and more of our customers are becoming price sensitive. Creativity, loyalty and good service seem to have all taken a back seat to low low prices. It's understandable, but surely the smart companies out there need and want a little more from their providers.
I don't want to become the Lidl of the merchandising world. When it comes to service, you really do get what you pay for. Sure, there is no merchandise I can get you that other companies can't, but some of them will give you a catalogue and ask you to pick what you like. That hardly seems fair - they want you to do half the work but are they going to give you half their salary?
When this credit crunch ends and we all look back and laugh, the companies that invested wisely in their people will be the ones that are still around. They won't be scratching their heads wondering where the hell all the money went.
So here is a little test for you. Say this sentence to yourself. "People will always need....." and insert what it is you do at the end. Is it true? For the initiated amongst you, the answer should be a resounding yes. So now say this one - "People will always need MY........" same reaction? If not, you're not thinking about yourself in a positive light, and I'd be prepared to bet a week's worth of Lidl groceries (£2.65) that you're not marketing yourself properly either.
So put that catalogue down and stop looking for the cheapest item you can get with the lowest minimum order quantity. I'll save you some time. The lowest minimum order quantity is none - if you don't want them, don't buy them. Guess what the cheapest price is...that's right - zero, and for all the same reasons. If you want some really great idea to help you market yourselves in times of trouble then just pick up the phone or drop me a line. I'm here to give you a Harrods quality service at an Aldi price.
You see, you don't need to just survive the credit crunch, you need to make your business grow and thrive. But then, wasn't that always the case anyway?
Thursday 23 October 2008
The C Word
I was told last week that my blogs are getting a little bit lengthy. What I find amazing is that they take less than four minutes to read. Now if you genuinely don't have a spare four minutes in your working week to be gently entertained and educated, you really need to hire some more people. Screw the credit crunch - if you're too busy to enjoy yourself then that's just plain wrong.
This week I want to talk about the C word. A dirty word that's being used in more and more offices around the world. A word that makes most people wince and some others angry. A word that has been inflicted upon us in times of strife. A word so evil in it's inception that to utter it is surely to open the gates of hell itself (mwa ha ha ha ha evil laugh....)
The word is.....CONSULTANT.
You know the sort, the well suited, big smiled, slick haired bloke who spends weeks in your office interviewing all the staff to try and work out where your business is going wrong, charges you a ridiculous fee and then proceeds to tell you all the stuff that you already know.
One of my clients recently had a report from a consultant advising them that if they got their products to market faster, that they could sell them sooner and then make more money quickly - GENIUS! My son is 7 months old and even he could have put that report together - obviously I would have had to have typed it up for him, his hands are too small to do any serious keyboard work, but you get the idea.
More and more people are changing their title to consultant. Recruitment Consultants, Travel Consultants, pretty soon it won't be long before we're all being served by Burger Consultants, charging us a fee for recommending the use of fries and a milkshake.
It's all out of control and what is worse, we're missing the obvious trick. We are, in fact, ALL consultants. If someone comes to you with a question or a problem, then they are consulting with you. Surely there are still some people in the world who are happy to dispense their advice for free?
My business card has me down as an Account Manager. I prefer to think of myself as a marketing consultant, but that title brings up some negative feeling. I know that I have created campaigns and slogans that certain marketing consultants will have charged tens of thousands of pounds for, and I did it all for free. Why? Because good advice yields its own rewards. Those clients did buy merchandise from me and a great relationship was formed - everybody won and I was happy to provide a consultation to my clients.
This is the thing I cannot get my head around. Week on week my company offers free marketing consultations to companies around the world, and yet many of them are simply not interested. Did I mention it was free? We're talking about a company who advise the number one Superbrand in the world and we're offering you the same level of advice for free and you don't want it?
By all means, call up some marketing consultant firm with a swanky website and ask them to come in. If you're lucky, maybe they won't charge you ten grand to tell you that the best way to make more money is to sell more stuff.
My name is Paul, and I am a consultant. It's not always a dirty word.
This week I want to talk about the C word. A dirty word that's being used in more and more offices around the world. A word that makes most people wince and some others angry. A word that has been inflicted upon us in times of strife. A word so evil in it's inception that to utter it is surely to open the gates of hell itself (mwa ha ha ha ha evil laugh....)
The word is.....CONSULTANT.
You know the sort, the well suited, big smiled, slick haired bloke who spends weeks in your office interviewing all the staff to try and work out where your business is going wrong, charges you a ridiculous fee and then proceeds to tell you all the stuff that you already know.
One of my clients recently had a report from a consultant advising them that if they got their products to market faster, that they could sell them sooner and then make more money quickly - GENIUS! My son is 7 months old and even he could have put that report together - obviously I would have had to have typed it up for him, his hands are too small to do any serious keyboard work, but you get the idea.
More and more people are changing their title to consultant. Recruitment Consultants, Travel Consultants, pretty soon it won't be long before we're all being served by Burger Consultants, charging us a fee for recommending the use of fries and a milkshake.
It's all out of control and what is worse, we're missing the obvious trick. We are, in fact, ALL consultants. If someone comes to you with a question or a problem, then they are consulting with you. Surely there are still some people in the world who are happy to dispense their advice for free?
My business card has me down as an Account Manager. I prefer to think of myself as a marketing consultant, but that title brings up some negative feeling. I know that I have created campaigns and slogans that certain marketing consultants will have charged tens of thousands of pounds for, and I did it all for free. Why? Because good advice yields its own rewards. Those clients did buy merchandise from me and a great relationship was formed - everybody won and I was happy to provide a consultation to my clients.
This is the thing I cannot get my head around. Week on week my company offers free marketing consultations to companies around the world, and yet many of them are simply not interested. Did I mention it was free? We're talking about a company who advise the number one Superbrand in the world and we're offering you the same level of advice for free and you don't want it?
By all means, call up some marketing consultant firm with a swanky website and ask them to come in. If you're lucky, maybe they won't charge you ten grand to tell you that the best way to make more money is to sell more stuff.
My name is Paul, and I am a consultant. It's not always a dirty word.
Thursday 16 October 2008
What Price Confidence?
Have you ever spent your time looking at just how many blogs there are out there? It seems that every gun carrying, pinball playing, mac loving, tv hating, cake eating, hair losing, merchandise printing nutter can put his opinion on the web and share it with the world. With this in mind, I'd like to thank you for taking the few precious minutes out of your day to enjoy the random musings of the safari park that is my brain.
So to the title of this week's blog - what price confidence? Well if you're clever, you can actually set that price at around 25p. Now of course 25p won't get you that much confidence - perhaps enough to offer to buy someone a drink but you're still going home alone. Spend a little more and you too could go from dud to stud, or in the case of the ladies - drag to.....well you get the idea.
At this point you clearly must be wondering what I have taken this morning. Well, they do say Omega 3 capsules are good for the brain, but I don't think they class as mind altering drugs.
No, I'm talking about merchandise (surprise surprise). Now those of you who know me will know that I don't believe in using gifts to close sales. Many companies like to give their sales people gifts to take out to meetings - a little trinket to leave behind to thank the prospect for their time. Sadly, there are some companies who don't use these gifts wisely - they treat them almost as if they were some sort of bribe and it's just so unnecessary.
If you have a sales person on your team who believes that the difference between closing a sale and not is whether or not he leaves a nice mug behind then there's more than one mug at that meeting. (See what I did there - I mean, that's actually quite clever isn't it? Do you know I'm making this stuff up as I am going along? Seriously, this blogging is a laugh - you should try it. I'll read yours too and then we can each think of ourselves as writers with an audience and celebrate over champagne and cucumber sandwiches - lovely).
This week I met with a company who told me that the sales in one office increased by 13% once their staff had gifts to leave with customers. The key here is that the gift, in and of itself, is not actually important here. What is important is that the sales people did have something that they could leave behind.
Sales are a tricky business. In many cases the days can be quite soul destroying - rejection after rejection. Your heart really does have to go out to those poor people sitting in a call centre in Bangladesh phoning to offer you a cheaper phone service. Actually, no it doesn't, I'm in the middle of my bloody dinner! And another thing - if you are genuinely from BT and offering me a cheaper service and I don't have to pay anything, why don't you just switch me on to that? Surely noone would actually say no to that would they? AHA!!! So you're not actually from BT after all are you then, and don't go telling me that your name is Mandy when it's perfectly clear that your name has probably got more syllables in it than that station in Wales.
Right, sorry. Sales. So how do we get that bit of confidence I was talking about? Well put yourself in the shoes of the sales person (size 9 if you're interested). You're going to visit 5 potential clients today. Some of them will say yes, some of them will say no and some of them will tell you that they want time to think about it. Now of all of those responses, you've only a 1 in 3 chance of leaving with a truly positive result. Now let that roll around in your head just before you start the meeting and think what your body language might be like.....exactly, your confidence may well be a little low.
Now picture this. Regardless of the outcome, you know that you're going to be leaving a really nice gift behind when you leave. You have a very very strong chance of leaving a good impression behind because you will be giving that prospect a warm and fuzzy feeling and that's the last thing he remembers. How's your body language now? See? You know you're leaving on a positive note and your confidence increases as a result.
If you're not sure, try this simple exercise. Think about something that you want from a colleague - a favour - and go and ask them knowing full well that they will say no to you. Look at how you approach them. Now, then think of a fairly unreasonable request and go and make it knowing full well that the person will say yes. It's just a bit of fun but you'll be amazed at the results.
I hope you can see now why it is a good idea for your sales force to be armed with some gifts to leave behind. You're not bribing customers, you're investing in your staff, and surely that's worth at least 25p.
So to the title of this week's blog - what price confidence? Well if you're clever, you can actually set that price at around 25p. Now of course 25p won't get you that much confidence - perhaps enough to offer to buy someone a drink but you're still going home alone. Spend a little more and you too could go from dud to stud, or in the case of the ladies - drag to.....well you get the idea.
At this point you clearly must be wondering what I have taken this morning. Well, they do say Omega 3 capsules are good for the brain, but I don't think they class as mind altering drugs.
No, I'm talking about merchandise (surprise surprise). Now those of you who know me will know that I don't believe in using gifts to close sales. Many companies like to give their sales people gifts to take out to meetings - a little trinket to leave behind to thank the prospect for their time. Sadly, there are some companies who don't use these gifts wisely - they treat them almost as if they were some sort of bribe and it's just so unnecessary.
If you have a sales person on your team who believes that the difference between closing a sale and not is whether or not he leaves a nice mug behind then there's more than one mug at that meeting. (See what I did there - I mean, that's actually quite clever isn't it? Do you know I'm making this stuff up as I am going along? Seriously, this blogging is a laugh - you should try it. I'll read yours too and then we can each think of ourselves as writers with an audience and celebrate over champagne and cucumber sandwiches - lovely).
This week I met with a company who told me that the sales in one office increased by 13% once their staff had gifts to leave with customers. The key here is that the gift, in and of itself, is not actually important here. What is important is that the sales people did have something that they could leave behind.
Sales are a tricky business. In many cases the days can be quite soul destroying - rejection after rejection. Your heart really does have to go out to those poor people sitting in a call centre in Bangladesh phoning to offer you a cheaper phone service. Actually, no it doesn't, I'm in the middle of my bloody dinner! And another thing - if you are genuinely from BT and offering me a cheaper service and I don't have to pay anything, why don't you just switch me on to that? Surely noone would actually say no to that would they? AHA!!! So you're not actually from BT after all are you then, and don't go telling me that your name is Mandy when it's perfectly clear that your name has probably got more syllables in it than that station in Wales.
Right, sorry. Sales. So how do we get that bit of confidence I was talking about? Well put yourself in the shoes of the sales person (size 9 if you're interested). You're going to visit 5 potential clients today. Some of them will say yes, some of them will say no and some of them will tell you that they want time to think about it. Now of all of those responses, you've only a 1 in 3 chance of leaving with a truly positive result. Now let that roll around in your head just before you start the meeting and think what your body language might be like.....exactly, your confidence may well be a little low.
Now picture this. Regardless of the outcome, you know that you're going to be leaving a really nice gift behind when you leave. You have a very very strong chance of leaving a good impression behind because you will be giving that prospect a warm and fuzzy feeling and that's the last thing he remembers. How's your body language now? See? You know you're leaving on a positive note and your confidence increases as a result.
If you're not sure, try this simple exercise. Think about something that you want from a colleague - a favour - and go and ask them knowing full well that they will say no to you. Look at how you approach them. Now, then think of a fairly unreasonable request and go and make it knowing full well that the person will say yes. It's just a bit of fun but you'll be amazed at the results.
I hope you can see now why it is a good idea for your sales force to be armed with some gifts to leave behind. You're not bribing customers, you're investing in your staff, and surely that's worth at least 25p.
Wednesday 8 October 2008
Do you want fries with that?
The selling of extras - we've all been there and, in many cases, we've been happy to hand over our money. Some extras make good sense - let's face it, a Big Mac without fries is like a night without stars. The reason we don't get wound up by being asked is that we expect it, but more and more, we are getting offered (and by offered I mean sold) things that we didn't come in for. Allow me to elaborate.
My wife went into the Post Office last week to sort out her car tax. It's not a complicated procedure - hand over documents, hand over money, receive tax disc, cheery smile, exit. The whole thing should take about three minutes, not allowing for the one hour queue that preceded it, accompanied by that lovely woman exclaiming "cashier number one please". There is only one cashier - sure you've got six counters there, but they're usually always closed - AAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!
So, back to the car tax. We've given over the documents and money and so all we need now is the disc and we can go right? WRONG! "Mrs Rose," begins our postal operative, "can I ask who your home contents insurance is with?" Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "NO! NO YOU BLOODY CANNOT ASK ME WHO MY HOME CONTENTS INSURANCE IS WITH. I CAME IN FOR A TAX DISC, I'VE BEEN STOOD IN THAT QUEUE FOR A WHOLE HOUR AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET THE HELL OUT. GIVE ME MY DISC AND I MEAN NOW!!!!!!!!"
Being the much calmer member of my family, my wife just offered them a reserved "No thank you" and went on about her day.
And I bet there are those amongst you who are sick to the back teeth of being offered mortgage reviews, financial reviews and personal banking services every time you go in just to pay a cheque. I know my bank offers mortgages, ALL banks do mortgages, but I already got mine sorted. Don't offer me an appointment with a personal banking manager - I've been with your bank for twenty years and I have never once taken you up on the offer, and given that I have not taken a sharp blow to my skull in the last week, I am not about to start seeing him now.
Is there anything that you can't buy from Tesco these days? Food, clothes, a telephone service, broadband, home insurance, a pension, a mortgage. Any day now Madonna won't have to nip over to Africa to pick up a baby - they'll be on aisle 16 next to the pet food.
With more and more companies offering more and more services, the market has become over crowded. I want to do my banking at a bank - not at a supermarket. I want to get my insurance from a reputable insurance company - not the post office. What we are losing sight of are specialists, because despite all of these wonderful services being offered by everyone, most people still prefer to deal with an expert.
Here at Merchandise Mania, we've often struggled to explain to people that when it comes to branding, we really can do anything that they want. The trap we fall into is being thought of as a Jack of all trades, and yet a master of none, and this simply is not the case.
So how do we overcome this obvious obstacle? It's actually very simple. Even though we have access to over a million products worldwide, we choose to align ourselves with specialists. There are hundreds of people that we can go to for, say, a USB memory stick, but we choose to stick with the people that we know and, more importantly, trust. We do "audition" new factories on a regular basis - if someone is offering a cheaper product of the same quality, we'd be foolish not to look into it so that we can pass the savings on to you. However, if we get some random email from a factory offering to do a little bit of everything, we just don't even bother reading it.
Now of course we're going to offer you extras - the nice pen to go with the pad, the lanyard to go with the USB stick, and so on, but it's only because experience tells us that many people want to have their hands held - to be shown what else is available and to make an informed decision. Of course, if you don't feel you need them, that's absolutely fine - we don't believe in pressure here and we really hate to be thought of as "sales people" with the negative feelings that seem to be associated with the term. We are advisors, and we'd like to think that you trust our advice - it's free, so please do help yourself.
For this week's competition you will need a cheque (cash will also work), a bank account and a stop watch. Go in to pay in some money into your account and see how quickly you can get out. Send in your times and the best one will win a 1Gb USB memory stick.
Now we're into October we're really starting to think about Christmas. If you did do something for Christmas last year then tell us about it now. If the decision has not been made as to whether you are to do something this year then that is something that you need to look at sooner rather than later. We've got a great array of gift ideas ready and waiting for you, and we promise we won't try and sell you any home contents insurance, telephone services or African babies.
My wife went into the Post Office last week to sort out her car tax. It's not a complicated procedure - hand over documents, hand over money, receive tax disc, cheery smile, exit. The whole thing should take about three minutes, not allowing for the one hour queue that preceded it, accompanied by that lovely woman exclaiming "cashier number one please". There is only one cashier - sure you've got six counters there, but they're usually always closed - AAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!
So, back to the car tax. We've given over the documents and money and so all we need now is the disc and we can go right? WRONG! "Mrs Rose," begins our postal operative, "can I ask who your home contents insurance is with?" Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "NO! NO YOU BLOODY CANNOT ASK ME WHO MY HOME CONTENTS INSURANCE IS WITH. I CAME IN FOR A TAX DISC, I'VE BEEN STOOD IN THAT QUEUE FOR A WHOLE HOUR AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET THE HELL OUT. GIVE ME MY DISC AND I MEAN NOW!!!!!!!!"
Being the much calmer member of my family, my wife just offered them a reserved "No thank you" and went on about her day.
And I bet there are those amongst you who are sick to the back teeth of being offered mortgage reviews, financial reviews and personal banking services every time you go in just to pay a cheque. I know my bank offers mortgages, ALL banks do mortgages, but I already got mine sorted. Don't offer me an appointment with a personal banking manager - I've been with your bank for twenty years and I have never once taken you up on the offer, and given that I have not taken a sharp blow to my skull in the last week, I am not about to start seeing him now.
Is there anything that you can't buy from Tesco these days? Food, clothes, a telephone service, broadband, home insurance, a pension, a mortgage. Any day now Madonna won't have to nip over to Africa to pick up a baby - they'll be on aisle 16 next to the pet food.
With more and more companies offering more and more services, the market has become over crowded. I want to do my banking at a bank - not at a supermarket. I want to get my insurance from a reputable insurance company - not the post office. What we are losing sight of are specialists, because despite all of these wonderful services being offered by everyone, most people still prefer to deal with an expert.
Here at Merchandise Mania, we've often struggled to explain to people that when it comes to branding, we really can do anything that they want. The trap we fall into is being thought of as a Jack of all trades, and yet a master of none, and this simply is not the case.
So how do we overcome this obvious obstacle? It's actually very simple. Even though we have access to over a million products worldwide, we choose to align ourselves with specialists. There are hundreds of people that we can go to for, say, a USB memory stick, but we choose to stick with the people that we know and, more importantly, trust. We do "audition" new factories on a regular basis - if someone is offering a cheaper product of the same quality, we'd be foolish not to look into it so that we can pass the savings on to you. However, if we get some random email from a factory offering to do a little bit of everything, we just don't even bother reading it.
Now of course we're going to offer you extras - the nice pen to go with the pad, the lanyard to go with the USB stick, and so on, but it's only because experience tells us that many people want to have their hands held - to be shown what else is available and to make an informed decision. Of course, if you don't feel you need them, that's absolutely fine - we don't believe in pressure here and we really hate to be thought of as "sales people" with the negative feelings that seem to be associated with the term. We are advisors, and we'd like to think that you trust our advice - it's free, so please do help yourself.
For this week's competition you will need a cheque (cash will also work), a bank account and a stop watch. Go in to pay in some money into your account and see how quickly you can get out. Send in your times and the best one will win a 1Gb USB memory stick.
Now we're into October we're really starting to think about Christmas. If you did do something for Christmas last year then tell us about it now. If the decision has not been made as to whether you are to do something this year then that is something that you need to look at sooner rather than later. We've got a great array of gift ideas ready and waiting for you, and we promise we won't try and sell you any home contents insurance, telephone services or African babies.
Thursday 25 September 2008
Share The Love - Save The Cash
All of my colleagues are bugging me for a special mention in my blog. For some reason they have likened this page to some sort of pirate radio station that plays house and garage music whilst some seventeen year old muppet shouts out the names of his friends with his mouth so close to the microphone that you can actually hear what he had for breakfast. So for those people – “BIG SHOUT OUT TO THE MANIA MASSIVE – MEENA THE MUNCHKIN, BIG DAVY DAVE, LISA THE LUSH AND THE PINK PRINCESS SOPHIA G – WORD UP AND NUFF RESPECT!”
Can I get on with it now please? Thank you.
Let me ask you a question. How are you? OK, that wasn’t it, but I think it’s important that you’re relaxed when you read these. I’m trying to be your friend here but I’m starting to feel that we never seem to talk about you.
Right! Enough of that, now let me ask you the real question. Do you do ALL of the buying of promotional merchandise in your company? There’s really only a handful of people who can say yes to that. In fact, the bigger your company, the more people there that are likely to be purchasing materials. Do all of their decisions go through you? What’s more, do all of their decisions get shared with each other?
The answer is usually a resounding no, and these people are all missing a trick. It’s an obvious one and every time I share it with people they nod in understanding, but these same people are wasting hundreds of thousands of pounds every year.
“But this is a disaster!” I hear you cry – actually you probably cried something that sounded a little less like a bad actor in a 1950’s disaster movie, running away from a 400 foot dinosaur as it rampaged through the streets of New York. I imagine some of you will have used rude words too, but I can’t print those. But you’re right – it is a disaster and in this current economic climate (or Operation “Please Kill Me Now” as the Government have labelled it) – it’s just plain stupid as well.
Sharing your purchasing decisions throughout the entire organisation just makes good sense. Like the good little students that you all are, you need an example, so here we go:
Let’s say that John in Marketing is looking to order 5000 pens (yes, I said pens, we all know how I feel about pens but I have to use something here). Now, unbeknownst to him (unbeknownst? What is this – Shakespeare?) Jane over in Human Resources also wants 5000 pens for her department. On top of that, neither John nor Jane know that Kevin up in the Manchester office is also looking for 5000 pens. Now let’s be clear – it’s not like John and Jane don’t speak with each other, but when was the last time you stood around the coffee machine chatting about pens? Really? As recent as that? That’s quite sad. Perhaps you need to watch some telly or go out?.....but I digress.
So each of them gets a quote and places an order. Each pen at the 5000 rate costs them 25p. So the company has committed a total spend on these pens of £3,750. However, had they ordered all 15K in one go, the unit cost would have dropped to 20p, thus saving the firm £750. To make matters worse, the first that any of them is going to hear about it is when Valerie in Accounts (you know Valerie – red hair, likes dogs, one leg shorter than the other) challenges three separate departments on why they are wasting money.
Now I know what some of you are thinking – no, not that – the other thing – what if each department had wanted different artwork or a different coloured pen. It’s not a problem, which does still come as a surprise to many of our customers. We’re talking about buying in bulk here, and most suppliers will allow you to mix and match colours and artworks within one order, as long as the actual product does not change.
So how do we put this into action? It’s simple – get together a list of all of the people in your company who buy merchandise. Set them up as an email group and every time you’re going to ask for a quote, simply tell them all about it and ask if anyone else would like to jump in and increase your buying power.
We can manage those lists for you here if you’d like, but we would need to know that everyone on the list had given permission to share the information.
Now my little example here saved the company only £750. I can site real examples where clients have saved thousands. Why don’t we run a competition to see which one of you can save the most. The winner gets the recognition and appreciation of his employers, which is worth a lot more than the pen that I would send you as a prize.
Today’s blog was typed in front of a live studio audience.
Can I get on with it now please? Thank you.
Let me ask you a question. How are you? OK, that wasn’t it, but I think it’s important that you’re relaxed when you read these. I’m trying to be your friend here but I’m starting to feel that we never seem to talk about you.
Right! Enough of that, now let me ask you the real question. Do you do ALL of the buying of promotional merchandise in your company? There’s really only a handful of people who can say yes to that. In fact, the bigger your company, the more people there that are likely to be purchasing materials. Do all of their decisions go through you? What’s more, do all of their decisions get shared with each other?
The answer is usually a resounding no, and these people are all missing a trick. It’s an obvious one and every time I share it with people they nod in understanding, but these same people are wasting hundreds of thousands of pounds every year.
“But this is a disaster!” I hear you cry – actually you probably cried something that sounded a little less like a bad actor in a 1950’s disaster movie, running away from a 400 foot dinosaur as it rampaged through the streets of New York. I imagine some of you will have used rude words too, but I can’t print those. But you’re right – it is a disaster and in this current economic climate (or Operation “Please Kill Me Now” as the Government have labelled it) – it’s just plain stupid as well.
Sharing your purchasing decisions throughout the entire organisation just makes good sense. Like the good little students that you all are, you need an example, so here we go:
Let’s say that John in Marketing is looking to order 5000 pens (yes, I said pens, we all know how I feel about pens but I have to use something here). Now, unbeknownst to him (unbeknownst? What is this – Shakespeare?) Jane over in Human Resources also wants 5000 pens for her department. On top of that, neither John nor Jane know that Kevin up in the Manchester office is also looking for 5000 pens. Now let’s be clear – it’s not like John and Jane don’t speak with each other, but when was the last time you stood around the coffee machine chatting about pens? Really? As recent as that? That’s quite sad. Perhaps you need to watch some telly or go out?.....but I digress.
So each of them gets a quote and places an order. Each pen at the 5000 rate costs them 25p. So the company has committed a total spend on these pens of £3,750. However, had they ordered all 15K in one go, the unit cost would have dropped to 20p, thus saving the firm £750. To make matters worse, the first that any of them is going to hear about it is when Valerie in Accounts (you know Valerie – red hair, likes dogs, one leg shorter than the other) challenges three separate departments on why they are wasting money.
Now I know what some of you are thinking – no, not that – the other thing – what if each department had wanted different artwork or a different coloured pen. It’s not a problem, which does still come as a surprise to many of our customers. We’re talking about buying in bulk here, and most suppliers will allow you to mix and match colours and artworks within one order, as long as the actual product does not change.
So how do we put this into action? It’s simple – get together a list of all of the people in your company who buy merchandise. Set them up as an email group and every time you’re going to ask for a quote, simply tell them all about it and ask if anyone else would like to jump in and increase your buying power.
We can manage those lists for you here if you’d like, but we would need to know that everyone on the list had given permission to share the information.
Now my little example here saved the company only £750. I can site real examples where clients have saved thousands. Why don’t we run a competition to see which one of you can save the most. The winner gets the recognition and appreciation of his employers, which is worth a lot more than the pen that I would send you as a prize.
Today’s blog was typed in front of a live studio audience.
Thursday 18 September 2008
I want something new and different......
I've just come back from a three day exhibition at the NEC in Birmingham. When I say "just", I do mean that I have literally just driven the 100 miles, ran into the office and started writing this blog to honour my committment to writing every Thursday. And so to my loyal readers - both of you - hello.
The title of this blog is something I have heard over and over again for the last three days. It's what everyone is looking for in their next promotional campaign. "Show me something new and different", they say, and my response is always the same. "Tell me what you call old and ordinary". Now this might seem like a smart arsed response (have you met me? they're all I ever use) but actually I am not trying to be controversial here. What you need to understand is that I see this stuff every day. To someone, a pen that dispenses Post It Notes might well be the most incredible thing they've seen. In which case, they really do need to get out more.
To cut a long story short (too late) please don't ask us for something new and different. We don't know you. We don't know what impresses you. We DO know that we can impress you, but shoving some new piece of kit under your nose and waiting for a reaction is not the way to do it. Of course you will get a reation if you shove anything under someone's nose - it's just not necessarily the best way to win a new client.
Then there's the second problem. Once you've asked for this new and interesting thing that can not only tell you the time in 30 countries, end global warming and still have time to nip down the road and pick you up a doner kebab at midnight - which you want pantone matched and delivered by next Wednesday. Oh no! What do you do then? You ask us for a catalogue - AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
How can you produce a catalogue of new and interesting things? Once everyone has got the same catalogue, nothing in there is either new or interesting. Do you see the irony here folks. DO YOU? REALLY?
A catalogue is a calling card. It's a way to let you know that we have a good range of merchandise in which you may well be interested. That's all it is. A good 60% of the items that we sell in any given year were not in the catalogue or on our website. Someone in our team had a good idea and then sourced the appropriate merchandise. We went for the WOW factor. It may not have been new and different for you, but it was new and different for them, and we only knew that because we had already taken the time to find out what they though was old and ordinary.
So the moral of the story? Asking for something different makes you just like everybody else.
A short blog this week because - and if you've ever worked at an exhibition you'll appreciate this - I am exhausted and I want to go home.
Have a good week in business and always remember............no sorry, I forgot.
The title of this blog is something I have heard over and over again for the last three days. It's what everyone is looking for in their next promotional campaign. "Show me something new and different", they say, and my response is always the same. "Tell me what you call old and ordinary". Now this might seem like a smart arsed response (have you met me? they're all I ever use) but actually I am not trying to be controversial here. What you need to understand is that I see this stuff every day. To someone, a pen that dispenses Post It Notes might well be the most incredible thing they've seen. In which case, they really do need to get out more.
To cut a long story short (too late) please don't ask us for something new and different. We don't know you. We don't know what impresses you. We DO know that we can impress you, but shoving some new piece of kit under your nose and waiting for a reaction is not the way to do it. Of course you will get a reation if you shove anything under someone's nose - it's just not necessarily the best way to win a new client.
Then there's the second problem. Once you've asked for this new and interesting thing that can not only tell you the time in 30 countries, end global warming and still have time to nip down the road and pick you up a doner kebab at midnight - which you want pantone matched and delivered by next Wednesday. Oh no! What do you do then? You ask us for a catalogue - AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
How can you produce a catalogue of new and interesting things? Once everyone has got the same catalogue, nothing in there is either new or interesting. Do you see the irony here folks. DO YOU? REALLY?
A catalogue is a calling card. It's a way to let you know that we have a good range of merchandise in which you may well be interested. That's all it is. A good 60% of the items that we sell in any given year were not in the catalogue or on our website. Someone in our team had a good idea and then sourced the appropriate merchandise. We went for the WOW factor. It may not have been new and different for you, but it was new and different for them, and we only knew that because we had already taken the time to find out what they though was old and ordinary.
So the moral of the story? Asking for something different makes you just like everybody else.
A short blog this week because - and if you've ever worked at an exhibition you'll appreciate this - I am exhausted and I want to go home.
Have a good week in business and always remember............no sorry, I forgot.
Thursday 11 September 2008
The Elevator Speech
A few months ago I was sat in a meeting here when we all tried to come up with an elevator speech. Now this is an American term and it's nothing to do with speeches to elevate you. No, it's much simpler than that.
The idea is this - you get onto an elevator (I want to say "lift", I really do, but then I have to rename the whole thing and that's a whole other kettle of fish. Incidentally, who prepares fish in a kettle? Exactly - it makes no sense at all.) and you find yourself face to face with the Chief Big Kahuna of the biggest potential client you can think of - it's Richard Branson, Bill Gates and Alan Sugar all roled into one - you may have your own icons, but those are some of mine.
Now, you've got the time it takes from the closing of the elevator doors to the time Mr Fatwallet gets to his floor to impress upon him what you do, why you're special and most importantly, why his company should be doing business with yours.
To make this challenge fair, we allocate thirty seconds for the whole thing - people like this tend to head for the top floor anyway. So do you have an elevator speech? Have you ever tried it on anyone and what was the result?
Reasonable questions I'm sure but actually, in the world of exhibitions, thirty seconds is a lifetime. How long do you think you have to make a good impression at a trade show? The answer is 8.3 seconds. It's the same amount of time for the female of the species to size up a potential mate. In 8.3 seconds the deal is either won or lost.
Now you can't deliver an 8 second pitch with .3 seconds for questions so how do you make that first impression? Simple - be different. Be bold but for heaven's sake, don't be tacky. There was a time when having a member of your staff standing at the front with a flashing yoyo was all the rage - but that time is over. Flashing yoyos are so last millennium. Same goes for bouncing balls and sunflowers that dance to music - been there, done that, picked up the complimentary T-shirt.
Not only are these ideas old and tired, what's worse is that they're not relevant. If your company is using a slogan about things "bouncing back" then OK, the ball makes sense. But if you're trying to become market leaders in the world of agricultural technology, what message does that ball send? I'll tell you - it says "we came to a trade show, we hope you'll come and talk to us and if we're really lucky, you'll remember us after you leave". WOW! Strong stuff indeed - remind me to pick up my complimentary frisbee on the way out - it'll look great on my Financial Director's wall!
Times are tight. We know that. So if you're going to spend less money then take the time to spend it wisely. You don't HAVE to give a gift at a trade show if all you're planning on doing is handing out 10p pencils to everyone who walks by. That's not marketing - it's charity, and you can do better than that.
So Mr Alan Branson-Gates has walked up to your stand and has seen some interesting product and has already been offered an intriguing gift. We're up to 8.2 seconds when he says "That's very kind thank you.....so what does your company do?" BINGO - get your sales cap on, throw your brain into 5th gear, rev the engine and LET'S ROCK!!!!!
You see? Targetted, relevant merchandise is what you need to be thinking about. You don't have time to be flipping through catalogues hoping to see something vaguely interesting and quite frankly, there really is no reason why you should.
Stop what you're doing, take a deep breath, grab yourself a coffee and let's start again. List these things:
1. What is the exhibition I am attending?
2. What is the theme of my stand?
3. If I had to sum up what makes me special in 8 seconds, what would I say?
4. Who is coming to this exhibition?
5. Who do I REALLY want to meet there?
If you were able to answer all of those in under a minute, the chances are that you rushed it. That's fine, we're all busy people but come on, you've spent some serious money on this stand haven't you? The space, the artwork, transportation, not to mention the time you and your team are going to have away from the office - it all adds up. You need to think about this, actually that's not quite right - WE need to think about this. What you need is a partner - someone to act as a sounding board for your answers to tell you if your message really works.
Well the good news is that you've got one. And the really good news is that he'll do it all for FREE! That's right - zilch, nada, diddley squat, zip. Is this person mental? I think we all know the answer to that one, but the truth is that he just flat out loves helping people come up with good ideas. OK, enough of referring to myself in the third person. I live for this stuff - for the chance to help you grab Alan Sugar by the throat as he walks past you and scream "Sugar - you're hired!"
So email me your lists, along with the date of the event in question, and we'll start hammering out a plan of action that will make you proud of your stand.
Next week, Merchandise Mania are exhibiting at the National Incentive Show at the NEC Birmingham. We're on stand E60 and our stand will have you talking to us for much more than a few seconds. There's a chance to win a digital photo frame, get a free marketing consultation and even get an autographed copy of this blog - please print it out and bring it with you, I'll bring the pens and who knows, maybe I'll even let you keep one.
The show is on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10am to 5pm (4pm Thursday) and we look forward to seeing you there. Mention this blog and win a bonus prize.
The idea is this - you get onto an elevator (I want to say "lift", I really do, but then I have to rename the whole thing and that's a whole other kettle of fish. Incidentally, who prepares fish in a kettle? Exactly - it makes no sense at all.) and you find yourself face to face with the Chief Big Kahuna of the biggest potential client you can think of - it's Richard Branson, Bill Gates and Alan Sugar all roled into one - you may have your own icons, but those are some of mine.
Now, you've got the time it takes from the closing of the elevator doors to the time Mr Fatwallet gets to his floor to impress upon him what you do, why you're special and most importantly, why his company should be doing business with yours.
To make this challenge fair, we allocate thirty seconds for the whole thing - people like this tend to head for the top floor anyway. So do you have an elevator speech? Have you ever tried it on anyone and what was the result?
Reasonable questions I'm sure but actually, in the world of exhibitions, thirty seconds is a lifetime. How long do you think you have to make a good impression at a trade show? The answer is 8.3 seconds. It's the same amount of time for the female of the species to size up a potential mate. In 8.3 seconds the deal is either won or lost.
Now you can't deliver an 8 second pitch with .3 seconds for questions so how do you make that first impression? Simple - be different. Be bold but for heaven's sake, don't be tacky. There was a time when having a member of your staff standing at the front with a flashing yoyo was all the rage - but that time is over. Flashing yoyos are so last millennium. Same goes for bouncing balls and sunflowers that dance to music - been there, done that, picked up the complimentary T-shirt.
Not only are these ideas old and tired, what's worse is that they're not relevant. If your company is using a slogan about things "bouncing back" then OK, the ball makes sense. But if you're trying to become market leaders in the world of agricultural technology, what message does that ball send? I'll tell you - it says "we came to a trade show, we hope you'll come and talk to us and if we're really lucky, you'll remember us after you leave". WOW! Strong stuff indeed - remind me to pick up my complimentary frisbee on the way out - it'll look great on my Financial Director's wall!
Times are tight. We know that. So if you're going to spend less money then take the time to spend it wisely. You don't HAVE to give a gift at a trade show if all you're planning on doing is handing out 10p pencils to everyone who walks by. That's not marketing - it's charity, and you can do better than that.
So Mr Alan Branson-Gates has walked up to your stand and has seen some interesting product and has already been offered an intriguing gift. We're up to 8.2 seconds when he says "That's very kind thank you.....so what does your company do?" BINGO - get your sales cap on, throw your brain into 5th gear, rev the engine and LET'S ROCK!!!!!
You see? Targetted, relevant merchandise is what you need to be thinking about. You don't have time to be flipping through catalogues hoping to see something vaguely interesting and quite frankly, there really is no reason why you should.
Stop what you're doing, take a deep breath, grab yourself a coffee and let's start again. List these things:
1. What is the exhibition I am attending?
2. What is the theme of my stand?
3. If I had to sum up what makes me special in 8 seconds, what would I say?
4. Who is coming to this exhibition?
5. Who do I REALLY want to meet there?
If you were able to answer all of those in under a minute, the chances are that you rushed it. That's fine, we're all busy people but come on, you've spent some serious money on this stand haven't you? The space, the artwork, transportation, not to mention the time you and your team are going to have away from the office - it all adds up. You need to think about this, actually that's not quite right - WE need to think about this. What you need is a partner - someone to act as a sounding board for your answers to tell you if your message really works.
Well the good news is that you've got one. And the really good news is that he'll do it all for FREE! That's right - zilch, nada, diddley squat, zip. Is this person mental? I think we all know the answer to that one, but the truth is that he just flat out loves helping people come up with good ideas. OK, enough of referring to myself in the third person. I live for this stuff - for the chance to help you grab Alan Sugar by the throat as he walks past you and scream "Sugar - you're hired!"
So email me your lists, along with the date of the event in question, and we'll start hammering out a plan of action that will make you proud of your stand.
Next week, Merchandise Mania are exhibiting at the National Incentive Show at the NEC Birmingham. We're on stand E60 and our stand will have you talking to us for much more than a few seconds. There's a chance to win a digital photo frame, get a free marketing consultation and even get an autographed copy of this blog - please print it out and bring it with you, I'll bring the pens and who knows, maybe I'll even let you keep one.
The show is on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10am to 5pm (4pm Thursday) and we look forward to seeing you there. Mention this blog and win a bonus prize.
Thursday 4 September 2008
It's September - Happy Easter 2009!!!
"Surely a mistake!" you cry, in which case, please keep your voice down - people around you are trying to work. Actually, a lot of people around you are secretly trying to get their hands on a cheap George Foreman grill on eBay, but that's a whole other story.
No, it's not a mistake, I and the rest of my team really would like to wish you all a Happy Easter. But what of Christmas, New Year, were we even so bold as to skip over the whole of Halloween???
The trouble in my line of work is that I have to think about Christmas in July, and what's more ironic is that I have to think about New Year in April. Allow me to explain (I really don't know why I needed to write that there, it's not like you're going to stop reading half way through a paragraph that makes no sense and go and do something else is it? Really? It is? Well, I'm sorry if your attention span isn't up the challenge - the coffee here is pretty strong if you wanted to swing by for a cup, but I digress....) a lot of people like to give out diaries as a New Year gift - they're a good idea and they make sense. But let's look at the operative word in that sentence:
A LOT of people like to give out diaries. Now our diary manufacturers are good, forward thinking people. They make up really good stock levels around February and they even offer discounts for people who order early. By April (you'll remember I mentioned April) those discounts have started to dry up and what's worse, the more desirable designs are also all sold off. Fast forward to September when the majority of people start to think about diaries and we're all facing higher prices, depleted stocks and lead times that will have you giving your diary to your customers on Christmas Eve.
Now did your competitor order their diaries back in April? Are they sitting on some great gifts, ready to send them out in October so that theirs is the first and therefore, only diary that their clients will want to use? And you wanted to wait.....
What amazes me is how many companies give out diaries year after year and yet always find themselves in the same boat. We gently persuade, we advise, hell we even scream at them to get their orders in and yet they wait patiently, blissfully aware that they are going to run into trouble and still smiling - it boggles the mind.
I spend a little time each day speaking with someone who needs a product yesterday. Express orders (or miracles as we like to call them) are all too common around here. But it's not what we signed up for. How creative can you expect your merchandise consultant to be when he's desperately trying to get 250 mugs into Poland by Friday? It's not like I'm pulling my hair out here.....pause for reaction.....but there are things that you can do to help both me and yourselves.
1. Let me have your promotional schedule. That's a look at all of the trade shows you're planning on exhibiting at and any special events or mailers for which you might need merchandise.
2. Tell me what you use your merchandise for. Are your sales people using them as gifts for potential customers and, if so, how quickly are they working their way through the stock?
3. Tell me what you did last year. If you did diaries, how well were they received? If it is more than 60% likely that you're going to want to do them again, let's just get the whole process started early and cross it off of both of our lists.
4. Pick up the phone. Not to call me, but for when I call you. I like to present new ideas to clients in a focussed way. If I see a product which made me think of you, I'm going to want to tell you all about it. Whether you're shopping or you're not, take the call or read the email - you might just be looking at your next and most successful campaign.
5. Tell your friends and colleagues. There are people working in your office right now (the bidding closed on the George Foreman Grill and Kevin in Accounts missed out by £1.50, so he's a little upset) who have been tasked with finding a gift and are about to start entering the words "Promotional Gifts" into Google. They have no idea of the monster they are about to unleash - save them - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!! See? Who needs that kind of panic? Exactly. Let me have their name and number and I'll give them a call.
An associate of mine loves to site a particular catchphrase - "Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan" and it's so true. A little bit of preparation now will pay huge dividends down the line, and time is something we should all invest in our futures.
We're exhibiting at the National Incentive Show on the 16th-18th September on stand E60, so please pay us a visit where you'll have the chance to win a digital photo frame and if you're really lucky, we'll let you eat some of our jelly beans, but come early, because those bad boys are MINE.
Have a good week in business and Happy New Year!
No, it's not a mistake, I and the rest of my team really would like to wish you all a Happy Easter. But what of Christmas, New Year, were we even so bold as to skip over the whole of Halloween???
The trouble in my line of work is that I have to think about Christmas in July, and what's more ironic is that I have to think about New Year in April. Allow me to explain (I really don't know why I needed to write that there, it's not like you're going to stop reading half way through a paragraph that makes no sense and go and do something else is it? Really? It is? Well, I'm sorry if your attention span isn't up the challenge - the coffee here is pretty strong if you wanted to swing by for a cup, but I digress....) a lot of people like to give out diaries as a New Year gift - they're a good idea and they make sense. But let's look at the operative word in that sentence:
A LOT of people like to give out diaries. Now our diary manufacturers are good, forward thinking people. They make up really good stock levels around February and they even offer discounts for people who order early. By April (you'll remember I mentioned April) those discounts have started to dry up and what's worse, the more desirable designs are also all sold off. Fast forward to September when the majority of people start to think about diaries and we're all facing higher prices, depleted stocks and lead times that will have you giving your diary to your customers on Christmas Eve.
Now did your competitor order their diaries back in April? Are they sitting on some great gifts, ready to send them out in October so that theirs is the first and therefore, only diary that their clients will want to use? And you wanted to wait.....
What amazes me is how many companies give out diaries year after year and yet always find themselves in the same boat. We gently persuade, we advise, hell we even scream at them to get their orders in and yet they wait patiently, blissfully aware that they are going to run into trouble and still smiling - it boggles the mind.
I spend a little time each day speaking with someone who needs a product yesterday. Express orders (or miracles as we like to call them) are all too common around here. But it's not what we signed up for. How creative can you expect your merchandise consultant to be when he's desperately trying to get 250 mugs into Poland by Friday? It's not like I'm pulling my hair out here.....pause for reaction.....but there are things that you can do to help both me and yourselves.
1. Let me have your promotional schedule. That's a look at all of the trade shows you're planning on exhibiting at and any special events or mailers for which you might need merchandise.
2. Tell me what you use your merchandise for. Are your sales people using them as gifts for potential customers and, if so, how quickly are they working their way through the stock?
3. Tell me what you did last year. If you did diaries, how well were they received? If it is more than 60% likely that you're going to want to do them again, let's just get the whole process started early and cross it off of both of our lists.
4. Pick up the phone. Not to call me, but for when I call you. I like to present new ideas to clients in a focussed way. If I see a product which made me think of you, I'm going to want to tell you all about it. Whether you're shopping or you're not, take the call or read the email - you might just be looking at your next and most successful campaign.
5. Tell your friends and colleagues. There are people working in your office right now (the bidding closed on the George Foreman Grill and Kevin in Accounts missed out by £1.50, so he's a little upset) who have been tasked with finding a gift and are about to start entering the words "Promotional Gifts" into Google. They have no idea of the monster they are about to unleash - save them - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!! See? Who needs that kind of panic? Exactly. Let me have their name and number and I'll give them a call.
An associate of mine loves to site a particular catchphrase - "Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan" and it's so true. A little bit of preparation now will pay huge dividends down the line, and time is something we should all invest in our futures.
We're exhibiting at the National Incentive Show on the 16th-18th September on stand E60, so please pay us a visit where you'll have the chance to win a digital photo frame and if you're really lucky, we'll let you eat some of our jelly beans, but come early, because those bad boys are MINE.
Have a good week in business and Happy New Year!
Thursday 28 August 2008
Preferred Suppliers? Spare Me!
Seriously, someone needs to take a long hard look at the term "preferred suppliers" and what it really means to their business. The operative word, for those of you who are not yet onto your third can of morning Red Bull, is PREFERRED, but sadly, the meaning of this word seems to have become somewhat diluted in recent years. In some other cases, the meaning has been forgotten altogether. But fear not my loyal readers and get your mind trampolines ready for me to bounce some wisdom on you.
Like all of you, I too have preferences - I prefer Diet Coke to the regular stuff, I prefer running in the evenings to waking up at 5am and I prefer McDonalds to Burger King.
But let's look at some other preferences in my life. I used to prefer Ready Brek to Shreddies. I used to prefer Rentaghost to Grange Hill and most of all, I used to prefer using mousse to hair gel.
The point is that preferences change - OK, the last one really was out of my hands (and out of my head too), but that's all they were - they were preferences. Something worked for me - I liked it and it served its purpose well. However, if I had not opened myself up to the possibility of something better being out there then imagine how limited my knowledge of the world would be. By trying new things I learned that Ready Brek was NEVER going to make me have an orange glow, that Timothy Claypole was quite possibly one of the most poorly played characters on TV and that baldness is sexy. It is - I checked.
So why is it that when people tell me that they have a "preferred supplier" that what they actually mean is that they have an "exclusive contract"? I'll tell you why - it's because in most cases, they don't have that. What sensible, forward thinking business locks itself into a relationship with only one supplier? Exactly - they don't.
What's more, have these people ever thought to ask what it is they actually do prefer about their suppliers? Is it price? Could it be product range or quality of service? If it is price, how likely is it that your preferred supplier will lower his or her costs to beat off the competition when they're blisfully aware that the competition is not even being given the chance to quote?
And don't even get me started on complaceny. OK - I've started anyway. All too often I meet with companies who tell me that their current suppliers don't offer them anything creative; they merely top up their clients' stock when it's running low. Again, how hard do they really need to work when their competitors are being shown the door.
Is this all just a plea for more business? Well of course it is! When have you ever known me to be subtle? All I ask of you is this - the next time you're about to tell a new potential partner that you have a preferred supplier, ask yourself these three important questions:
1. What is it that I prefer about my suppliers?
2. What would it take from a new supplier to impress me enough to try them?
3. Have I checked with Paul Rose already?
See? It doesn't take long and you may just then take the first steps towards a new and beautiful relationship.
Have a great week in business and please tell your friends and colleagues about this blog - every time someone emails me to tell me that they're reading I get a little boost to take me through my day, so feel free to share the love!
Like all of you, I too have preferences - I prefer Diet Coke to the regular stuff, I prefer running in the evenings to waking up at 5am and I prefer McDonalds to Burger King.
But let's look at some other preferences in my life. I used to prefer Ready Brek to Shreddies. I used to prefer Rentaghost to Grange Hill and most of all, I used to prefer using mousse to hair gel.
The point is that preferences change - OK, the last one really was out of my hands (and out of my head too), but that's all they were - they were preferences. Something worked for me - I liked it and it served its purpose well. However, if I had not opened myself up to the possibility of something better being out there then imagine how limited my knowledge of the world would be. By trying new things I learned that Ready Brek was NEVER going to make me have an orange glow, that Timothy Claypole was quite possibly one of the most poorly played characters on TV and that baldness is sexy. It is - I checked.
So why is it that when people tell me that they have a "preferred supplier" that what they actually mean is that they have an "exclusive contract"? I'll tell you why - it's because in most cases, they don't have that. What sensible, forward thinking business locks itself into a relationship with only one supplier? Exactly - they don't.
What's more, have these people ever thought to ask what it is they actually do prefer about their suppliers? Is it price? Could it be product range or quality of service? If it is price, how likely is it that your preferred supplier will lower his or her costs to beat off the competition when they're blisfully aware that the competition is not even being given the chance to quote?
And don't even get me started on complaceny. OK - I've started anyway. All too often I meet with companies who tell me that their current suppliers don't offer them anything creative; they merely top up their clients' stock when it's running low. Again, how hard do they really need to work when their competitors are being shown the door.
Is this all just a plea for more business? Well of course it is! When have you ever known me to be subtle? All I ask of you is this - the next time you're about to tell a new potential partner that you have a preferred supplier, ask yourself these three important questions:
1. What is it that I prefer about my suppliers?
2. What would it take from a new supplier to impress me enough to try them?
3. Have I checked with Paul Rose already?
See? It doesn't take long and you may just then take the first steps towards a new and beautiful relationship.
Have a great week in business and please tell your friends and colleagues about this blog - every time someone emails me to tell me that they're reading I get a little boost to take me through my day, so feel free to share the love!
Friday 22 August 2008
My three favourite words...."Tell me more"
And you thought they were going to be "Here's my order" or "We pay cash". What sort of a mercenary sales person do you take me for? Actually, don't answer that, the truth would only hurt us both in the end.
So why are "tell me more" my three favourite words? It's simply because that's the response that every marketeer should be looking to elicit from their new biggest client, and there's no reason why a piece of promotional merchandise shouldn't do the same thing.
Let's take an example. You go up to a trade show stand and some monkey in a polo shirt tells you why his or her company is great, hands you some literature and, just because you seem like a nice person, gives you a free pen. Your elation lasts even less time than it takes an average Australian to whinge about how we're kicking their arse at The Olympics. Did the polo monkey make a sale? Maybe....maybe not.
Now let's move on to the next stand. This time the company rep tells you about his or her company, hands you some literature and then hands you a calculator and tells you that it runs entirely on tap water. At this stage, your curiousity kicks in and you say the magic words, "Tell me more" and that rep gets to engage you in a conversation. They're not talking about their company or trying to make a sale, they're simply building a rapport with a new prospective client.
And so that same client goes home that night and empties his bag of goodies onto the living room floor to decide which goes in the bin, which he gives to his kids and which go back to the office with a follow up call. Now which pile do you think the water powered calculator is going in?
I was once asked how important I thought promotional merchandise was and I realised that it's really not important at all. Some cool giveaway presented just for the hell of it is a waste of time and money. No sale has ever been won or lost because the winning team gave a pen away with their presentation. The winning team established a rapport with their client - they went the extra mile and they engaged that client in conversations outside of the sale. All of that can start by giving them something more intriguing and more likely to bring about those three magic words....."Tell me more".
Just to be clear, the calculator that runs on tap water is not some random thing I plucked from my brain after a heavy night on the cough syrup. This entire blog was inspired by the fact that a simple meeting with a client became one of the most interesting conversations I have had all year, right after I presented them with the product.
So take a look at the merchandise that you've bought this year. What are you excited about? What was different and special? Did any of it open a door that was previously only left ajar for you? If your answer to that last question is "no" then we really need to talk. If you answered "yes" then I hope that it was me who supplied the gift in question and if not, how do we fix that for next time?
To remind you, a special promotion for the next couple of weeks where you WILL - not CAN but WILL receive a free digital photo frame with built in MP3 player for orders over £1000 in value (or 200 water powered calculators if you prefer). Have a good week.
So why are "tell me more" my three favourite words? It's simply because that's the response that every marketeer should be looking to elicit from their new biggest client, and there's no reason why a piece of promotional merchandise shouldn't do the same thing.
Let's take an example. You go up to a trade show stand and some monkey in a polo shirt tells you why his or her company is great, hands you some literature and, just because you seem like a nice person, gives you a free pen. Your elation lasts even less time than it takes an average Australian to whinge about how we're kicking their arse at The Olympics. Did the polo monkey make a sale? Maybe....maybe not.
Now let's move on to the next stand. This time the company rep tells you about his or her company, hands you some literature and then hands you a calculator and tells you that it runs entirely on tap water. At this stage, your curiousity kicks in and you say the magic words, "Tell me more" and that rep gets to engage you in a conversation. They're not talking about their company or trying to make a sale, they're simply building a rapport with a new prospective client.
And so that same client goes home that night and empties his bag of goodies onto the living room floor to decide which goes in the bin, which he gives to his kids and which go back to the office with a follow up call. Now which pile do you think the water powered calculator is going in?
I was once asked how important I thought promotional merchandise was and I realised that it's really not important at all. Some cool giveaway presented just for the hell of it is a waste of time and money. No sale has ever been won or lost because the winning team gave a pen away with their presentation. The winning team established a rapport with their client - they went the extra mile and they engaged that client in conversations outside of the sale. All of that can start by giving them something more intriguing and more likely to bring about those three magic words....."Tell me more".
Just to be clear, the calculator that runs on tap water is not some random thing I plucked from my brain after a heavy night on the cough syrup. This entire blog was inspired by the fact that a simple meeting with a client became one of the most interesting conversations I have had all year, right after I presented them with the product.
So take a look at the merchandise that you've bought this year. What are you excited about? What was different and special? Did any of it open a door that was previously only left ajar for you? If your answer to that last question is "no" then we really need to talk. If you answered "yes" then I hope that it was me who supplied the gift in question and if not, how do we fix that for next time?
To remind you, a special promotion for the next couple of weeks where you WILL - not CAN but WILL receive a free digital photo frame with built in MP3 player for orders over £1000 in value (or 200 water powered calculators if you prefer). Have a good week.
Thursday 14 August 2008
There's no such thing as a dumb idea
OK, scratch that - there are literally millions of bad ideas out there. In fact, by the time you got to the end of that first sentence, someone you know will have had one - hey, it may well have even been you.
When you find yourself in a creative environment such as the one we have here at Merchandise Mania, you're often treated to a nugget of pure genius - an idea so incredibly "left of field" that you'd think it would have come from the mind of Stephen Hawking after a heavy night on Vodka, Red Bull and class A narcotics.
An example? As I write this my colleague has been asked to come up with ideas for a Moroccan themed evening. Now when we get given a brief here we brainstorm and I am proud to say that the newest member of our team came up with an idea of pure gold. Are you ready? I hope you're sitting down........
Cous Cous shaped stress toys! No, you're not dreaming this, this actually happened and the resulting laughter in the office has lifted the mood for the rest of the day. Let's be fair, if you want cous cous shaped stress toys you need two ingredients - a stress ball (round will do but if you can't find that at your local supermarket then any shape will suffice) and a cheese grater. Apply the ball to the grater and repeat until you have enough cous cous to accompany a mid sized chicken shish.
OK, enough messing around - is there really a point to all of this? Well I'm delighted that after only 3 entries you think that I need to be making a point. What happened next was that the resultant laughter was so loud that other people wanted to know what the joke was. We shared it and within 10 minutes my colleague (the one who got the brief in the first place) had a list of relevant and less than ridiculous ideas to present to her client.
Be fair, there are plenty of very successful products out there that began as crazy ideas. At some point in history, some TV executive thought it would be great to fit a bunch of social misfits in a house and film every little petty discussion that came up. They called it Parliament TV and it didn't do too badly.
Some people go for weird combinations as a good idea. A few weeks ago I saw Marmite Guinness in the shops. Right, so some bright spark thought "People like Marmite...people like Guinness....hold on a second!" NO NO and thrice NO! I like curry and I love cheesecake but I can assure you that a Sara Lee Tikka Cheesecake is never going to make it into my fridge.
Like any progressive company, Merchandise Mania is a melting pot of ideas, most good, some bad and some which get written down in a very special book which we refer to whenever we need an emotional boost. The real beauty comes in realising how much we love what we do here. As I've said before, I'm fine with providing pens and mugs and mousemats to people if that's what they want, but I'd much rather wake up in the morning and wonder what crazy idea is going to pop into my brain that day.
Sometimes we don't even need a brief. Right now we're sitting on loads of great products which would be right for you so the next time you get an email from us with the subject "I saw this and thought of you", we really did think of you. Open it, take a look - if you don't find it relevant it will have cost you twenty seconds. If you don't open it at all, it may well cost you thousands of pounds in lost potential revenue.
So this week, a challenge - not for you but for me. Let me know where you are struggling; where your creative juices have temporarily dried up, and let me and my team help you. I promise you we'll come up with something memorable together and at the very least, you'll have a fun story to share with your colleagues.
Have a good week.
For more stress toy recipes log on to www.tastystresstoys.com/areyoumental?
When you find yourself in a creative environment such as the one we have here at Merchandise Mania, you're often treated to a nugget of pure genius - an idea so incredibly "left of field" that you'd think it would have come from the mind of Stephen Hawking after a heavy night on Vodka, Red Bull and class A narcotics.
An example? As I write this my colleague has been asked to come up with ideas for a Moroccan themed evening. Now when we get given a brief here we brainstorm and I am proud to say that the newest member of our team came up with an idea of pure gold. Are you ready? I hope you're sitting down........
Cous Cous shaped stress toys! No, you're not dreaming this, this actually happened and the resulting laughter in the office has lifted the mood for the rest of the day. Let's be fair, if you want cous cous shaped stress toys you need two ingredients - a stress ball (round will do but if you can't find that at your local supermarket then any shape will suffice) and a cheese grater. Apply the ball to the grater and repeat until you have enough cous cous to accompany a mid sized chicken shish.
OK, enough messing around - is there really a point to all of this? Well I'm delighted that after only 3 entries you think that I need to be making a point. What happened next was that the resultant laughter was so loud that other people wanted to know what the joke was. We shared it and within 10 minutes my colleague (the one who got the brief in the first place) had a list of relevant and less than ridiculous ideas to present to her client.
Be fair, there are plenty of very successful products out there that began as crazy ideas. At some point in history, some TV executive thought it would be great to fit a bunch of social misfits in a house and film every little petty discussion that came up. They called it Parliament TV and it didn't do too badly.
Some people go for weird combinations as a good idea. A few weeks ago I saw Marmite Guinness in the shops. Right, so some bright spark thought "People like Marmite...people like Guinness....hold on a second!" NO NO and thrice NO! I like curry and I love cheesecake but I can assure you that a Sara Lee Tikka Cheesecake is never going to make it into my fridge.
Like any progressive company, Merchandise Mania is a melting pot of ideas, most good, some bad and some which get written down in a very special book which we refer to whenever we need an emotional boost. The real beauty comes in realising how much we love what we do here. As I've said before, I'm fine with providing pens and mugs and mousemats to people if that's what they want, but I'd much rather wake up in the morning and wonder what crazy idea is going to pop into my brain that day.
Sometimes we don't even need a brief. Right now we're sitting on loads of great products which would be right for you so the next time you get an email from us with the subject "I saw this and thought of you", we really did think of you. Open it, take a look - if you don't find it relevant it will have cost you twenty seconds. If you don't open it at all, it may well cost you thousands of pounds in lost potential revenue.
So this week, a challenge - not for you but for me. Let me know where you are struggling; where your creative juices have temporarily dried up, and let me and my team help you. I promise you we'll come up with something memorable together and at the very least, you'll have a fun story to share with your colleagues.
Have a good week.
For more stress toy recipes log on to www.tastystresstoys.com/areyoumental?
Thursday 7 August 2008
Above and below the line marketing - what's the difference?
Before I started in this industry, the terms "above the line" and "below the line" marketing were unknown to me. To the outsider, allow me to explain - Above the line marketing is the stuff one usually thinks about when they hear the word "marketing"; it's your print, radio, television and so on. Below the line is everything else.
It saddens me to think that everything my company does is below this famous line. Who drew this line? Where does he live? Could I take him in a bare knuckle fist fight or at least an intense game of Buckeroo?
If you do something - anything in fact that gets your company's name into the minds of your customers then it's marketing - pure and simple.
The trouble is that there are some huge companies out there who don't seem to know the difference. Dozens of times every day I will call a company who straight away tell me that they don't have a budget for marketing and yet I will have taken their phone number from an advert in a national paper which will have set them back several thousand pounds! Untargetted, unimaginitive and with a lifespan of one day - there are moths that have lasted longer than these people's marketing efforts and so in an attempt to spend wisely, they repeat the very same advert a week later - genius!
Why are these smart marketeers so ready to dismiss promotional merchandise as a viable way to generate more business? Now don't get me wrong - giving away a random pen to some passer by at a trade show is about as useful as a bacon sandwich in a synagogue. People throw money at advertising because it's the done thing, but that doesn't necessarily make it the right thing.
But it's not all pens and mousemats. These things certainly have their place but there are over a million other ideas out there. People are happy to spend so much money and yet so little time on their marketing and the costs can be huge. I pride myself on giving good advice - sometimes a pen is the right way to go, but I need to ask a lot more questions before I arrive at that conclusion. I'm not trying to make a sale here (although I have no objection to your buying from me) but I am trying to make sure that you get the best advice.
The person working at the newspaper advert office only wants to know the size of advert you want to buy and on what date you want it printed. He doesn't care about your business because he doesn't need to - and yet you form a strategic alliance with this person?
So let's dispense with this concept of what I do being "below the line" - I know that my clients have had great responses to the merchandise that they have given out. It's lead to more business and more long standing relationships between them and their customers. When was the last time a newspaper advert did that?
And so it is that I draw a new line - and all marketing, from the multi million pound TV campaigns to the humblest ballpoint pen will be above it. Now that's out of the way, can we talk about your marketing?
It saddens me to think that everything my company does is below this famous line. Who drew this line? Where does he live? Could I take him in a bare knuckle fist fight or at least an intense game of Buckeroo?
If you do something - anything in fact that gets your company's name into the minds of your customers then it's marketing - pure and simple.
The trouble is that there are some huge companies out there who don't seem to know the difference. Dozens of times every day I will call a company who straight away tell me that they don't have a budget for marketing and yet I will have taken their phone number from an advert in a national paper which will have set them back several thousand pounds! Untargetted, unimaginitive and with a lifespan of one day - there are moths that have lasted longer than these people's marketing efforts and so in an attempt to spend wisely, they repeat the very same advert a week later - genius!
Why are these smart marketeers so ready to dismiss promotional merchandise as a viable way to generate more business? Now don't get me wrong - giving away a random pen to some passer by at a trade show is about as useful as a bacon sandwich in a synagogue. People throw money at advertising because it's the done thing, but that doesn't necessarily make it the right thing.
But it's not all pens and mousemats. These things certainly have their place but there are over a million other ideas out there. People are happy to spend so much money and yet so little time on their marketing and the costs can be huge. I pride myself on giving good advice - sometimes a pen is the right way to go, but I need to ask a lot more questions before I arrive at that conclusion. I'm not trying to make a sale here (although I have no objection to your buying from me) but I am trying to make sure that you get the best advice.
The person working at the newspaper advert office only wants to know the size of advert you want to buy and on what date you want it printed. He doesn't care about your business because he doesn't need to - and yet you form a strategic alliance with this person?
So let's dispense with this concept of what I do being "below the line" - I know that my clients have had great responses to the merchandise that they have given out. It's lead to more business and more long standing relationships between them and their customers. When was the last time a newspaper advert did that?
And so it is that I draw a new line - and all marketing, from the multi million pound TV campaigns to the humblest ballpoint pen will be above it. Now that's out of the way, can we talk about your marketing?
Friday 1 August 2008
Can one blog truly make a difference?
And so it begins...... I enjoy sharing my thoughts with so many of you on the telephone that I thought it was about time that I put them in print, so to speak.
Each week I'll be posting what I think is exciting in the world of promotional merchandise - new advances in printing technology, new products, you name it, it will be here.
Each week I'll be posting what I think is exciting in the world of promotional merchandise - new advances in printing technology, new products, you name it, it will be here.
I'll also be sharing stories that I hope will serve as a learning experience for us all - failing that, they'll just be a really good laugh.
If you have a topic that you'd like me to comment on, please just let me know. My creative juices run best on a Tuesday morning between 3.15 and 3.17am - which is why I usually miss them entirely!
I promise to try to entertain and to educate. If I don't, then you are certainly within your legal rights to stop reading, or call in the authorities to take me away to a small institution to have small electrodes attached to my more intimate areas. I think The Priory is closest to us here - Amy Winehouse's ambulances make it there in about 10 minutes.
So here we go...stay tuned and let's have some fun.
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