The G in morning is not silent

OK, OK, I'm a day late and I'm sorry. I've been laid up in bed with some virus and to make matters worse my 7 month old, Felix, has it as well. And if you think I can moan when I'm ill, imagine what my offspring is capable of! Sleep deprived and with a throat that feels like I've just eaten a ball of wool wrapped in sandpaper, I'm still here to unleash my anger on the world.

And so the title of this week's rant. The G in morning is not silent. Nor is it silent in the word calling or meeting. For some reason however, there seems to be an entire generation of people who think that it is. You know who I'm talking about. You call up a company with a solid reputation and some hooped earring Chavette who is more interested in the X Factor than her job shrieks down the phone at you with a voice so shrill that all the dogs in the neighbourhood start howling.

"Good mornin'" they cry. You respond in a professional tone "Good morninG, may I please speak with so and so? "E's in a meetin' right now, who's callin'"

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Die Die Die you horrible little person! You're killing the English language. You're the icon of everything I hate about the world.

Have you been there? I bet you have. Now I don't mind so much when I'm phoning to order a pizza from Domino's but these are people answering the phones in City firms - the sorts of places where a certain standard is expected and yet is clearly being overlooked.

Don't get me wrong. Language evolves - I get that. I mean why do you think it's so hard to understand Shakespeare? But the use of proper English need not be thought of as an art form. Language can be truly beautiful, and the spoken word shouldn't grate. Do I sound a bit like Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady? Well then By George, I think you've got it!

The people to whom I am referring often create the first impression that any potential customers have of their company. They are just as representative of the image of the firm as their logo or annual reports, and yet this seems to be an area where their employers will so quickly gloss over the cracks.

Is the same true of their marketing department? It can be. How often do we get people calling us to ask us for pens and mugs? Too often. I've said it before and I'll say it again - don't buy merchandise just for the sake of it. This is your company's image we're talking about. Is it really a good idea for a bank to give out a stress toy? What's the message - if you bank with us you'll have even more stress so you might need to squeeze this? WRONG WRONG WRONG!

They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. When a company rebrands or even goes to market themselves for the first time, they really need to keep this in mind. If you fail to impress your potential customers from the moment they hear about you, you may never win their business.

So this week, please think about your image. If you were approaching your company for the first time, what would you be thinking of them? Is it the image you want?

If you're not happy with the answers, please let us help you. If you are, then let us help you feel even better about your image.

Once again just a chance to remind you that I am running in the Marathon next year and need sponsors. Please go to www.justgiving.com/pjrose and help me out.