Your complaints department

Does your company have a Complaints Department? I know that such things were commonplace in the seventies and eighties, but since then the whole concept seems to have died. You know what I think about that? GOOD!

Seriously, a complaints department? That would suggest that the company's output is so bad, that they actually need to hire a group of people who do nothing all day apart from fielding complaints. You'd have to feel sorry for them wouldn't you? For at least eight hours a day, they would have been faced with the prospect of dealing with angry, frustrated people who chose to vent all of their anger on the sorry individual who answered the phone.

So did the concept of the Complaints Department really die? No - it actually got rebranded into the cuddly wuddly world of Customer Service. Let me run those words by you again - Customer Service. Grinding your teeth yet? Hairs on the back of the neck standing to attention? Sweaty palms and a racing pulse rate? Yup - and we all know why. It's because in the corporate faceless world of call centres where "your phone call is important to us", the words Customer Service are perhaps the biggest oxymoron we know.

But let's break it down. We'll start at the beginning shall we? CUSTOMER. What is your definition of a customer? For me, it's someone that gives me business. Regardless of the size of that business, their money is now my money. I am grateful for this and I tell them so. A customer is not just another name and phone number on a database whose sole purpose is to continue spending money regardless of whether the service is good, bad or otherwise.

And what about SERVICE? That really is where it all goes horribly wrong isn't it? You see call centre operators don't actually care about you at all. Why should they? They're paid an hourly rate to answer the phone, adhere to a script and a set of policies, and essentially try to get rid of you as quickly as possible. Eventually, fed up with getting nowhere, you'll ask to speak to a Supervisor who will proceed to do the exact same thing - only his lies seem more plausible, because he has seniority.

Now I'm writing this because this week, I actually got what I considered to be genuine customer service. I'll summarise on the story because the true long version is incredibly dull, but suffice is to say that my wife had a problem with her mobile phone. After a 3 week runaround, we really were no closer to a solution. The manager of the store took the time to talk me through their procedures and explained to me that he truly understood the nature of our frustration but that there was only so much he could do.

Now I had called this guy, ready for a fight. You know me - secretly hoping that the service would be bad so that I could load both barrels and really let him have it. But it didn't happen, and here's the odd part - he actually didn't make any exceptions for us or make the situation better in any way. What he did do, was take the time to acknowledge that we were not only a customer, but a fellow human being who just wanted to be shown a little bit more than the "Computer Says No" mentality that we've all become so used to.

Once my wife's phone is fixed, this guy will be getting a letter sent to the company's head office, commending him on the way in which he handled the situation.

You see, addressing the complaints of a customer doesn't always mean throwing money at the problem until it goes away. Sometimes, people just want to express their disappointment - they expect better of you, especially if you've done such a good job in the past. The only cost to you in helping them is a few minutes of your time and a little empathy.

So, the next time someone calls you to complain, apologise, and then ask them what they feel you could do to improve upon the situation - you'll be amazed at the results.

And by the way, if any of you are aware of a company with a dedicated Complaints Department, please let me have their details, and whilst you're at it, call them and just have a pleasant conversation about anything you like - they really could use a lift.