Can I borrow your crystal ball please?

Does this phone call sound familiar?

You: “Hello, I’m selling stuff and I’d like to see if you have any requirements for the stuff I am selling”

Them: “No thanks, we already have everything we need for the next 12 months”

OK. Firstly, if your sales pitch really is that crap, you really need to consider either investing in some training or entering an entirely new line of work. I mean I’m not here to offer you career advice but have you ever considered the true joy that comes with selling hamburgers? Of course I’m paraphrasing - it’s the response on the part of the prospect that’s important here.

Everything they need for the next 12 months? Seriously? If you think about it, that really is incredible. This company has worked out, in incredible detail, everything that is going to happen in their business for the next whole year. Their bank manager must love them - “Here you go Mr Bank, here are our accounts for the next year. We haven’t actually started the year yet, but by jingo we just love to plan”.

How long would a planning meeting like that take anyway? I’m guessing about a year. The point is that no one can predict what’s going to happen in the next 3 months, let alone the next 12. Sure we can simplify; if we know which trade shows and exhibitions we’re taking a stand at we can plan for how much merchandise we’ll need, but even then there’s a flaw in the logic. That trade show can go much better or worse than expected. Assuming it goes better, you’re going to run out of merchandise much faster than you’d planned for and then what? You’re going to have to call your supplier and see if he or she can get you something in a hurry, and we all know what a nightmare than can become.

Planning is key, we know that, but if you don’t factor in a contingency plan then you really haven’t planned at all. Is anyone really so arrogant as to suggest that they’ve never been surprised in business - either pleasantly or unpleasantly? I can’t tell you the number of times people have called Merchandise Mania because they were running low on stock and had a show coming up. They bought the original stock months in advance - they had a calendar of events and they were ready for anything, but then their last show was an unprecedented success and they’d decided to exhibit at a new show because they got a great last minute deal. It happens, and the truth is that is happens much more than people realise.

There’s a phrase that really winds me up when I see it on movie posters or in advertising campaigns - Expect the Unexpected. You can’t. It’s impossible. As soon as you expect it, it’s no longer unexpected is it? See? ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH it just makes me mad. However, if I take a deep breath I have to tell you that you should expect to be surprised. You should expect to see gains and losses that nobody in your team could have predicted and most importantly, you should expect to be ready for such things when they happen.

How can we help you with this? Well the obvious answer is to suggest that you stop telling people that you’re sorted for the next 12 months - you’re not. Nobody is, so just accept it. The second is to consider probing a little deeper into your buying habits. If you bought 1000 pens in January, another 1000 in April and you’re now looking again, it’s fairly obvious that you’re going to get through somewhere between 5 and 6000 by the end of the year. Have you asked about the unit cost of 5000 as opposed to 1000? It may surprise you, and those savings could be put to even greater marketing effect.

As always, we’re here to help. I know it might seem like we’re just trying to get you to buy more stuff but our motivation is actually elsewhere, and there are two main schools of thought. The first is that we want to help you market your company as effectively and as efficiently as possible. We are professional consultants, not sales people, and we take pride in our work. The second is that buying merchandise is a pain, so the more we can automate your marketing, the more time we have to focus on the truly important things in life, which I can’t imagine includes buying pens.

Enjoy your week.